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Mandela Given Oxygen After Trying to Blow Out 90 Trick Candles

Author: Hayiboman Author Ranking Blue | Posted: 18-07-2008 | Comments: 0 | Views: 77 | Rating:  (199) Article Popularity - Blue (?) Got a Question? Ask.
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QUNU. Nelson Mandela has been forced to have what aides are calling "a little lie-down with a bottle of oxygen" after trying unsuccessfully to blow out 90 trick candles on a birthday cake. The cake and candles were supplied by an embarrassed Essop and Aziz Pahad, who had hoped the candles would "symbolize the fire of freedom which can never be extinguished".

The Pahads later admitted that they "probably hadn't thought the whole thing through".

Celebrations in Qunu came to a halt when Mandela slowly slid out of his chair and under the table after trying to blow out the candles for fifteen minutes.

"Tata Madiba has the constitution of an ox," said an unnamed aide, "but seriously, who gives a 90-year-old trick candles? Seriously."

Mandela's disappearance under the table was not immediately noticed, as desert had just been served and most guests were absorbed by their tiramisu. However according to witnesses, Graca Machel realised something was amiss when she tried to feed her partner a spoonful of the pudding and found him gone.

Paramedics on the scene said that Mandela had not been in any danger or discomfort, and that he had "just gone beddy-bye for a few seconds".

"But seriously," added paramedic Needles Ngwenya, "who gives a 90-year-old trick candles? Seriously."

A spokesman for the Pahads said that the candles had been meant to "symbolize the fire of freedom which can never be extinguished".

"Plus everybody loves trick candles, with all the blowing, and then it's like 'Whoa!' when they re-light, and then everyone's like 'You've got a girlfriend!' or 'You can't blow out your candles!' and then you're like 'Geez, why can't I blow this out?' and then everyone is like, 'Check it, check it, you've got three girlfriends now!' and, and – yeah, when you put it like that, it probably wasn't appropriate."

Paramedic Ngwenya said that after ten minutes with an oxygen bottle Mandela was back on his feet and agitated about missing out on tiramisu.

"He got quite forceful when I told them there was only about a third of a bowl left," said Ngwenya.

"He said he didn't spend 27 years in prison to dip out on the sweets, and that there was going to be some arse-kicking if those damned cousins from East London had gone and jumped in the trough with their Tupperwares like they always do."

Mandela was given an ovation when he returned to the party, but had to ask the Pahads to refrain from kissing his feet, as he feared he might trip, and also found it "deeply creepy".

The Pahads later led a cheer of "Here's to the next 90 for Tata Madiba!", a gesture appreciated by the elder statesman, although he responded by suggesting that it was "unlikely" he would see his 180th birthday.

He said it was a "very sweet thing to say", but added that "sycophancy is all fun and games until someone tries to blow out trick candles and passes out."

"And who gives a 90-year-old trick candles?" he asked. "Seriously."

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