Are You at Risk of Losing Your Kids Because of Your Work?

Family is the essence of life. Maintaining the core of the family is as basic as life gets. But, right wing politicians, conservative religious zealots and even family members can threaten adult industry workers with the loss of custody of their children. How can they do this?

Government agencies are empowered to “protect the welfare of minor children from physical, mental, and emotional abuse”. The powers granted to these agencies permit them (with the aid of local police) to remove children from their homes; seek court orders to place the children in foster homes or terminate all parental rights.

Family courts decide whether to remove children from homes, limit parental visitations, place children in foster homes or state institutions, or terminate parental rights.

Divorce courts determine which parent has sole custody of their children, or decide upon joint custody with set visitation rights.

Outsiders challenging parental rights include relatives, grandparents, and in-laws of the children. Anyone can complain to a government child protection agency. Relatives can file a lawsuit with a family court challenging the fitness of parents and petition for the custody of children.

Are You A “Fit” Parent?

What is the definition of a “Fit” parent? No state law or court case has ever defined what a “Fit” parent is. Instead, courts attempt to define an “Unfit” parent.

Unfit parents come in different categories:

Parents who physically abuse their children by causing bodily harm are considered unfit.
Parents who cause mental or emotional harm to their children are also unfit.
Parents who actually cause or allow others to sexually abuse their children are unfit as well.
Failure to allow proper medical treatment whether because of religious or cultural beliefs have resulted in courts finding the parents to be unfit.

Neglect by not properly housing, clothing, feeding, or educating their children will get you labeled as an unfit parent.

Lifestyle is another area where claims of child abuse or neglect occur. Parents who are nudists or who work with adult entertainment industries can be exposed as “unfit parents” by religious conservatives, family value politicians, nosey neighbors, and relatives.

Are there any groups or organizations providing assistance against challenges of unfit parents due to legal “Lifestyle” choices?

PARENTS IN ADULT (PIA) is a support group dedicated towards helping parents who work in the adult industry. PIA provides adult industry parents with help, support and answers with parenting and custody issues.

Parents in Adult started because of adult industry owners’ personal experience with a child custody battle in the courts. Tracey Potoski (also known as Brandi Love) and her husband Chris (co-owners of NakedRhino Media) successfully fought off attempts by their families to remove their 5-year-old daughter from their home. The allegations of child abuse were solely based on their adult industry lifestyle.

NakedRhino Media in partnership with AVN (AVN.com) formed Parents in Adult in 2004 as a response to the Potoski child custody battle.

PIA website (ParentsInAdult.com) offers resources for the unique parenting challenges while involved in the adult industry. Their Progressive Parenting section offers child developmental expert advice and articles with provoking insights of parenting of toddlers, pre-school, pre-teens, and teens written by experts.

Parents in Adult News section offers recent news stories about the struggles parents in the adult industry face with lifestyle opposition from relatives, in-laws, government agencies, and the courts.

Legal Spotlight will offer articles written by lawyers and legal experts.

Attorney Directory will offer a list of nationwide sympathetic attorneys.

Resources include links to liberal organizations (ACLU, Free Speech Coalition) and parenting links (Dr. Spock and Parenting.com).

Articles cover important topics like unfounded child abuse cases, myths of the adult industry, and curbing the power of state agencies.

While this website is a good idea, it has shortcomings.

News stories are old like the 2003 article from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette about how a former stripper regained custody of her 8-year-old son after losing him to the paternal grandparents for 15 months. The most recent News posted was dated 2006.

Several click here buttons did not work, such as, history article, membership, sponsors, attorney directory, community boards, and legal spotlight. Since this organization began in 2004, one would expect better links and updated content.

In spite of these shortcomings, useful information is available on their website.

How to Win a Child Custody Challenge

The Best Interests of the Child is the legal standard all of these laws, court cases, and government agencies abide by. What does it mean? Many family law firms and child psychologists emphasize the following guidelines, which judges look at when deciding what is best for the child:

Time – How much time do the parents spend with their children? Are they so busy as to neglect their children of parental love and care?
Money – Do the parents have the financial resources to provide adequate food, shelter, clothing, education, and health care? Must the state intercede to provide assistance with any of these necessities of life?
Stability – Moving children to different homes often traumatizes them by losing friends and adjusting to new environments.
Neglect – Even if parents earn good incomes, do not move homes often, and spend lots of time with their children; if they neglect the necessities, emotional and mental needs, courts consider them unfit.
Abuse – Have parents physically, emotionally, or sexually abused their children? Have they allowed others to abuse their children?
Legal lifestyles of the parents often are not directly challenged, but used as an excuse to claim that one or some of the five above conditions occurred. How do you defend against such lifestyle challenges?

Proof of being “Unfit”

Rather than you having to prove you are “Fit”, challengers must prove the parents are “unfit”. The courts rely on Experts like psychiatrists, psychologists, medical doctors, family counselors, and clergy. The defense can hire their own experts to testify their lifestyle choices do not harm their children’s well being.

In conclusion, government agencies, family courts, parents filing for divorce, and even outsiders can dispute your parental rights. They will try to find experts to testify that you, the parents are not “fit”. Your best defense against these challenges is your lifestyle with your kids. It would be wise to create a lifestyle with your children that establishes a history of you as fit and shows that to your world. More resources for the adult webmaster