As a teenager, I KNOW how hard it is to feel like you 'fit in' during high school, college or university. That's why I've prepared this brief list of tips on how to lead as a young person. Most of the time, teenagers like myself just want to 'fit in' and go unnoticed. This is has become typical because of the old Chinese proverb 'The nail that sticks out gets hammered'. To be different is to be a target in many high schools.
What I love about teenager hood is that in our later years, we get to throw away this way of looking at life, and truly step out and live our lives the way we want to. There is however a solution for those still at high school however - to become a team leader, not a target. Read on to find out how.
1. Have a think about how you live your day to day life. What things do you hate doing, but end up doing anyway? Do you hate going to a certain person's house, but simply have to because everyone else is going? Do you smoke but slightly regret starting? For me, it was hanging out with a certain 'popular' individual who did nothing but insult everyone in their company. This really annoyed me, but noone else seemed to mind. They were probably just better at hiding it than me.
2. Show assertiveness. You don't have to be a very confident person to show assertiveness. Confidence is a characteristic, being assertive is simply a technique you can learn. Rephrase soft and weak phrases to strong sounding ones. "Could you just pass me my pen?" is only asking someone to taunt back "No" just to annoy or upset you. Instead, try "[Name], pass me that pen" in whatever tone comes naturally. By not even phrasing it as a question, the other person will be less likely to challenge you. To reiterate, this isn't about confidence, it's simply behaviour that you have the power to modify.
3. Don't be different for the sake of it. Individuality is a brilliant thing, but don't walk against trends simply 'because'. Many so-called 'non-conformists' are actually part of a very clear, very obvious group of 'non-conformists', and simply conform to their views instead. They're as much of a follower as everyone else, they simply follow the complete opposite to everyone else. So my point is this. Don't follow every trend because you have to, and on the flipside, don't hate every trend just because it's a fad. Do what *you* want, ignore trends completely. If you want to improve your leadership as a teen, you have to walk to the beat of your own drum. :)
4. Don't think 'What if it went wrong?', think 'What if it went RIGHT'
5. Don't back down. Make clear decisions to do what you want to do. Don't let comment or opinions from others make you re-think and possibly back down. As SOON as they see that you've given up, or changed your habit to 'fit in', they know they can manipulate you in the future.
6. Try and roughly write down compliments you have received as a result of being a team leader. Whether someone thanked you for helping them get out of a situation they really didn't want to be in, or someone admiring your 'different' clothes, try and write it down in a tiny book. This book can be thought of as a personal ego-booster, and you can read it when you're feeling down, or need the courage to step up and stand out of the crowd and employ leadership.
7. My final tip may sound obscure. It's 'DO IT'. By this, I am begging you to actually consider using the techniques above properly. It's all too easy to skim over an article such as this and make a half hearted attempt at applying it in practice, only to see it fail. What I want you to do, is get out a pen and paper or open a Word Document, and write down numbers 1-6. For each number, I'd like you to write how you're actually going to use this advice in real life.
Think about:
Which situations had you wished you had applied this tip?
Do you anticipate that opportunity will come round again in the near future?
How are you going to deal with the situation differently this time?
It will empower you and excite you as your action plan takes form. Finally you are actually going to do something about feeling like a sheep or a follower, and will finally be able to manage to bump yourself up a notch on the social hierarchy. :)
Leadership Management is what I call the activity of having a look at yourself once you feel that you've put these plans into action and have started making a difference. Boost your leadership and continually strive to improve your influence by reading articles on a leadership blog, such as mine below.
And finally, you'll notice that none of these leadership tips involve following a certain fashion, mixing with a certain type of people, or liking a certain type of music. This is because these really aren't necessary. You don't lead by being identical to everyone else. For every area; fashion, music, looks, intelligence; I know somebody who is extremely different, *but still popular*. It is these people who I have learnt from. These individuals show that being different AND popular is the greatest place you can be, and they have far more fun than everyone else.
Have fun being a leader, and hopefully soon you'll be doing leadership management yourself!
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