Liz Cassidy, founder of Third Sigma International is an author, Speaker, Trainer and Executive and Performance Coach dedicated to facilitating results in the businesses, professional and personal lives of her clients. Third Sigma International is a Brisbane based Executive Coaching and Corporate Training business. Liz Cassidy publishes the popular 'Liz’s Hot Tips' weekly updates to entrepreneurs, managers, executives and business owners. For more information http://www.thirdsigma.com.au
I have long been an observer of people, and whenever I get the opportunity I also eavesdrop on their conversations. So if you see me hanging out in a coffee shop at the table next to you, be prepared for me to listen in!
One of the things I love to listen to is how people just don’t listen to each other. They talk at, over and around each other but miss the deep in-the-moment opportunities which cement and advance relationships.
I have noticed also when I am facilitating groups that when one person speaks and adds great value to a subject often the person who could have gained most from the information cuts through and completely misses what was being said. And in that moment misses a huge opportunity to learn and grow.
Listen. This seems so obvious and simple, and is the hardest thing we do. When you are being spoken to; listen with your ears, your eyes and your intuition.
What are the words being said? What are the words not being said? When does the other person hesitate? When does their tone of voice change? What are they wanting to communicate to you and struggling with?
I had a conversation with a coaching client who briefly diverged onto another topic. Her face lit up as she spoke on the new topic, her skin seemed lighter, and her eyes sparkled. Then she came back to the original subject, her voice tone and energy dropped, her skin went dull and her eyes seemed bleak and resigned. In listening to her; I heard something more than the words, I heard her call for help. I was able to remark on the changes I saw, and ask what was going on. Our conversation then shifted to what she really needed and to a solution, simply because I was listening deeply to her.
When you listen, are you looking at the person? Are you seeing the whole or simply the parts? What are they saying to you beyond the words?
Practice deep listening; see what a difference it makes to your conversation.
- Related Videos
- Related Articles
- Ask / Related Q&A
Greed, Money, And Its Effect On Managing
By: Craig Nathanson | 24/11/2009The organizational drive to increase margins, lower costs, improve productivity continues to be the main emphasis in business.
The Fishy Challenges of Leadership in Business
By: Deanne Earle | 23/11/2009Talented leaders soon start to resemble hopeful salmon battling upstream when leading organisations on a tortuous journey ahead while dealing with the problems that leaders face in challenged organisations. This article looks at leadership impact on organisational challenges while discussing the views of William Tate's book on the subject.
Multicultural leadership
By: Javier Palomarez | 22/11/2009Multicultural leadership focuses on welfare, unity and harmony among employees. It does not focus on anyone individual but believes in a mutual relationship.
Microsoft Office 2010 Moves to the Cloud
By: Sparxoo | 20/11/2009When Canadian company i4i sued Microsoft this past August, watchdogs in the software community predicted that the move would encourage Microsoft to bring up their plans for a move to cloud computing much earlier than planned – and it looks like they were right. In addition to the announcements of a new and improved version of Internet Explorer and a major update of the Silverlight runtime platform at this week’s Microsoft at the…
What I Admire In A Good CEO
By: Spicer Matthews | 18/11/2009I have to admit, I am a CEO stalker. Not in the creepy sit outside their house kinda of way. However, I must admin I did drive by Warren Buffet’s office and house a few time. When I say I am a stalker I am more of an admirer. I am someone that loves getting inside the mind of a great CEO (or CEO type person). I read as much as I can about them, I watch all the interviews, I track the performance of their companies and more. Some CEO’s are very hard to follow and some are very easy to follow.
Focused and Effective Coaching
By: Be! Coaching | 18/11/2009I read a couple of books lately that have really inspired me. One is The Jackrabbit Factor by Leslie Householder. This is a great story about a guy who is depressed about his life as he is dealing with the very common, difficult situations we all experience at some point. He finds himself in a strange sort of dreamland where people are scrambling around in what appears to be the “rat race” of life.
Importance of Leadership Development
By: Elle Wood | 17/11/2009Leadership training is based on the company and the leadership development training differs from one company to the other. It should be very industry specific, however with certain foundations that cross borders.
Turn your Skills into Money
By: Hayat Fethia Bouamama | 16/11/2009Skills and hobbies are the best channel to make money easy.
Developing Effective Communication Skills - Don't Interrupt
By: Liz Cassidy | 03/11/2009 | ManagementSo many times I see frustration on faces of people being interrupted. I hear potentially useful channels of communication being shut down. All for the sake of getting a point across. Don’t interrupt - again so simple and so obvious. We have all seen the couple who finish each others sentences because they are in tune. This is not what I am talking about.
Developing Effective Communication Skills - Listen
By: Liz Cassidy | 03/11/2009 | LeadershipI have long been an observer of people, and whenever I get the opportunity I also eavesdrop on their conversations. So if you see me hanging out in a coffee shop at the table next to you, be prepared for me to listen in! One of the things I love to listen to is how people just don’t listen to each other. They talk at, over and around each other but miss the deep in-the-moment opportunities which cement and advance relationships.
Passive Assertive or Aggressive – What’s the Difference?
By: Liz Cassidy | 02/10/2008 | Self HelpWe can define assertiveness by placing it on a continuum between passiveness and aggression and making a contrast with them.
Leading or Managing?
By: Liz Cassidy | 14/09/2008 | Leadershipt is too easy to forget that there are times to lead and times to manage, and it is too easy to slip into management mode when under stress. If you or your team are experiencing "people issues" look for this rule of thumb: Manage the processes and the procedures, but, Lead, guide & teach the people.
Facing Reality – Handling Disappointments
By: Liz Cassidy | 17/08/2008 | Goal SettingLike many of you I have been relishing the feats and records at the Beijing Olympics this last week. The results have been a Goal Setting 101 course on focus, action; repetition, and celebration.
Maybe Tomorrow?
By: Liz Cassidy | 03/08/2008 | CoachingWhat is your unique offering to your client base or to your organisation? How do you stand out from the masses?
Maximising your Communication When Replying to Emails
By: Liz Cassidy | 12/04/2006 | BusinessAnswering emails has the same importance as answering telephone messages. Usually an email may more usefully be replied to with a phone call rather than another email (think about that)
Getting the Most From Your Emails
By: Liz Cassidy | 12/04/2006 | BusinessSome 93% of communication is in body language and tone. So with the written word as in this text, emails are words on a screen, or on paper if printed. Whilst email is designed to make our working lives easier, it totally messes things up if used inappro