When you're (literally) branded by the brand

In an era of great awareness about food additives, colourants, nasties like Sudan Red dyes and the like, one would expect beverage producers to give careful thought to colouring new products. I've just test-driven the new Energade ‘Blast' red-alert, vitamin B enriched drink. Thank heavens I didn't do my research before a client meeting or presentation. I was stuck for hours with scarlet tongue and lips that threatened to outdo those of the pale one from Neverland.

I've long been an Energade fan, with circumspection though, because if you study the labeling, a couch potato like me gets something like two days worth of carbohydrates from just one 500ml bottle! That notwithstanding, when I've been doing something that's gotten in the way of adequate short-term hydration, the occasional Energade has hit the spot well as an immediately-afterward pick me up. I don't know whether Energade is eloctrolytically balanced to permit swift absorption by the system, but it feels like it. At one point I seem to recall seeing an endorsement on the bottles by Prof. Tim Noakes' Sports Science Institute at the University of Cape Town. That's missing from this particular variant.

Surely something that lasts quite as long as the red residue from this drink can't be good for one? My kidneys, I imagine, must have given thought to engaging COSATU in a renal toyi-toyi or poster protest. Something must have to work very hard to get rid of such potent food colouring. If it has this impact in an adult, what happens in the tiny body of a child? Particularly regarding certain colourants and their link to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)?

I think this is plain dumb marketing. How much more sensible if Energade had brought out a Vitamin B-containing variant (great marketing ploy) but in a version that contained little or no colourant or preservatives - thus punting the ‘health' and hydration benefits of the drink?

Being a fan of the grape flavour, I'm now also going to have to do an ocular inspection in fridges, because just grabbing ‘the red one' may saddle me with luscious lips all over again. The upside is that if you have a vampire party coming up, give serious thought to getting a bottle of this concoction - Dracula's lips never looked so vivid!

It would be interesting to have one of the brand custodians from Cadbury Schweppes or Bromor Foods explain the thinking that leads to something like this.