A Life Shared

I have been truly blessed! I have had the honour to witness two people in love, from the day that they married until now, 2005, some 66 years later. And they are still in love. These two lucky people are my parents. A hard act to follow.

In the words of my father on the day of my Mother’s 90th birthday, “I love her more now than the day we were married.” Isn’t that wonderful.

So, when I asked them the secret of their success they told me, each taking it in turns to add something, that it was all about sharing and caring. Truly. That is what they always did, they shared everything. They shared every bit of information, every experience, every letter, financial decision, everything.

They also said that the secret of a long, happy relationship was all about really loving each other, honouring the other persons wishes, trusting each other and, again, sharing.

Of course they were separated during the Second World War, and that made a difference. At that time letters were the only realistic method of communication, and they used to write loving, romantic letters to each other. My father still has them to this day. Agh! But it is little things like this mean so much. Caring enough to leave a love letter on the pillow . . . texting a love message during the afternoon.

True love is not about sex. The whole experience of courting is designed to keep sex out of the equation until the two people involved have reached a place of knowing everything possible about the other, until the relationship can deepen to a place of true intimacy.

By jumping into bed as quickly as possible, people today are robbing themselves of the most exciting and enthralling of experiences. That is, of truly getting to that place of deep understanding and trust that comes from sharing personal thoughts and experiences, intimate details about what matters most to the person, and by taking that on board and treasuring that secret information as if it were your own.

When you know these secret thoughts and beliefs of and about each other you enter into the realm of magical experience, almost a place of holy sacrosanct that binds you as no other experience does. To reach this place you need to be able to open up and share these thoughts and beliefs. That is why the art of conversation and communication is so important. It is important to you, to your loved one and your relationship.

Now you can develop this wonderful gift. It is never to late to learn the skills and practices that can lead you there to that special experience, that once shared, will enhance your relationship and open you both up to greater love.

You too can be valentines forever.

Ed.