About your Marriage Counselor

Your marriage counselor is a skilled facilitator who helps engaged, newly married or established couples reduce or eliminate the stress in their relationships that often brings great pain and unhappiness. These stresses originate from complex emotional problems which routinely arise as a result of problems outside the home. Issues relating to career, family, money, and children combine with poor communications and coping skills, to erode over time, the emotional foundation of the marriage. By identifying and resolving the issues that generate this stress, the marriage counselor help couples move beyond their present difficulties while arming them with strategies that aid in the avoidance of similar problems in the future.

One of the most important roles played by a marriage counselor is to help couples overcome feelings that lead them to believe that any effort to improve their relationship is a waste of time. This encouragement is particularly important when one spouse is more discouraged than the other. Qualified marriage counselors also bring a fresh perspective to marital problems and offer unique insights into specific issues that can preoccupy couples who try to work things through alone.

A marriage counselor also helps couples to avoid painful emotional situations and provides a plan of action that helps to restore the romantic attraction and love a marriage originally contained with.

Finding a marriage counselor begins in many ways. You may start with a recommendation from a friend or from a listing you find in your local yellow pages. Your doctor or clergyman may also furnish a list of names, too. It is important to interview prospective counselors to determine whose approach meets your expectations and needs.

Remember also that marriage counseling is for both partners. Make sure your spouse is actively participates in the search for a therapist, and that they are included in the actual counseling sessions.

Some basic questions to ask a prospective counselor include:

 How many years has he or she been in practice?

 What are the counselor’s education and professional qualifications? Be sure to research the validity of any given.

 What methods does the marriage counselor use to help motivate clients to complete their counseling?

 Does the prospective counselor suggest strategies to solve your marital problems or are you expected to discover this on your own?

Interview more than one potential counselor then zero-in on the one or two that leave you feeling most comfortable and confident of success. As part of this research, always ask about what the fees are; ask what the terms of payment are and never agree to paying for service before it’s delivered. Be cautious, too, about signing up for any program before you’ve had time to think or to compare what other professionals offer.

Relationships are dynamic, changing and adapting many times over their lifetime. Conflict, like change, is inevitable in all relationships. How well each partner reacts to conflict spells the difference between a relationship that brings joy and happiness, and one that brings misery and grief. The marriage counselor is a skilled professional who brings couples together to resolve their differences before time and bad habits can pull them apart.

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