ARE YOU IN DENIAL

Dating is not always easy and finding an interesting person to even consider dating is often challenging enough as it is. So when we do find someone interesting enough, we often hold on to them, with the hope that the connection will grow into something special.

The question you need to ask yourself however, is: How special is the connection between you and this “interesting” person?

As women, when we meet someone we really like, we often become infatuated quickly and without intention, create this illusion that leads us to disappointment and injured emotions that we do not deserve.

Have you met someone you feel drawn to romantically and want things to head to the next stage, but just cannot seem to get there? If so, welcome to a common situation many of us women find ourselves in. Is this new man in your life really worth your time and patience, or are you just in denial about how special the connection between you really is? It is important for you to be observant and pay attention to whether or not you are making excuses for him when he does not put in the effort you would like him to.

Making excuses for someone is something very common that people do, especially women. When we like a man enough, we convince ourselves that he is worth our time by making excuses for his lazy and inconsiderate behavior. Deep down however, you already know whether he is truly crazy about you too, or not.

Here are some signs of a man who truly does want you:

1. He calls you and gets in touch with you (phone, e-mail, etc) as often as he can.
2. Calls you when he says he will
3. Pays attention to what you like (example: types of movies, flowers, food, music, so on) and then invests efforts in making sure he can provide you with it. So for example, if he knows Italian is your favorite food, he will try to find a nice Italian restaurant to take you to, because he wants to impress you and make you happy.
4. He expresses his feelings to you and lets you know how much he likes you.
5. He does not mind doing most of the chasing

Now, here are some signs of a man who is not that interested in you:

1. He takes his time to get in touch with you and does not seem very excited to talk to you again.
2. Tells you he will call you, and then breaks that promise.
3. Leaves you wondering about how he really feels about you. Not being emotionally expressive enough.
4. Does not invest much effort in trying to impress you or set up nice dates.
5. He seems relaxed and not concerned with chasing you all that much- leaving a lot of room for you to look for him.

If you find yourself making excuses to any of the signs above that point to him not being very interested in you, you are not alone.  You obviously like this man a lot and like him enough at this time to feel he worth making excuses for, but…are you really happy?

Sure, there are exceptions where we should give people the benefit of the doubt, but there is a difference between a mistake we can of course excuse and forgive and man who simply does not treat you well enough.

Yes, we are living in modern times where women play strong roles in the career and work field and are not afraid to take charge and be aggressive, including in the romance department. If we see a man we want, most of us are not old fashioned enough to just wait around. We are ready to take charge and flirt, e-mail and call- if it means starting up a relationship with a man we want. While this is great and we should feel strong and confident enough about ourselves to do this, we also should not forget how men are programmed by nature. Do not rob a man of the fun he has in chasing after a woman he really longs for. As fun as it may be for you to be the aggressive one, the truth is, if you spend too much time being aggressive and getting in touch with him all the time, you are not giving him or yourself the chance to really find out how much he wants you. Do not be afraid to lie back sometimes and see just how much effort he feels you are worth.  If he really wants to get to know you and be with you romantically, then he will not miss his chance to call you, e-mail you, or make the time to take you out.

So be honest with yourself and do not make excuses, no matter how much you like him. After all, you want to be with someone who wants you just as bad and shows it- not someone you have to run after and wonder about.

One Important Note: Avoid the “Busy Excuse”

Do not make the busy excuse for him. Yes, people get busy, but if you are not too busy to think about him, then he is not too busy to think about you either. If you really are on his mind, he will make the time, if only a moment, to let you know he was thinking about (whether through a phone call, text message or e-mail.).

Sometimes a person can have a crazy day and this is okay, but if it happens too often, then it has nothing to do with him being busy- it has to do with him being lazy, and you are worth more than that!

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