Does weaning not refer to infants? Not adults on the way to the altar?
However, when you think about it, how many of us are grown up or mature enough to get married? However loudly one might pooh-pooh the idea of being immature, it would be a worthwhile exercise to sit down and do an objective take on the subject. Because it is essential that all of us who would like to make a success of our marriages are completely sure that we are still not tied to our parents apron strings.
Marriage is a contract and a full-time career which needs to be worked on. Like all other careers, one has to be qualified for the job and continuously hone ones skills to do well in that job. In a regular career, one sheds the student world and accepts the new responsibility of the work ethic in the office or workplace.
In marriage, do we shed the child mode and readjust ourselves to the adult mode? Most of us do not. We go into marriage still wanting to be looked after, be pampered and be allowed the freedom of throwing a tantrum when things do not go our way. Very much like what we did with our parents. Only, we do not like it if we are corrected or our partner is not as patient and understanding as perhaps our parents have been in the past.
Very often, a woman marries a father figure so she can continue being Daddys little girl and a man marries a mother figure so he can be, well, mothered. Sometimes, we can be like infants in that we choose the best looking toy to carry around little realizing that does not always bring us the happiness of the comfortable old cuddly bear we slept with!
Yes, it is necessary for us to grow out of our parents. This in no way is a criticism of them. It is a journey we have to undertake. It means we stop thinking like we did as children. Then we view our parents as separate entities and love them the better for it, no longer taking them for granted.
This is the first step to freeing ourselves for marriage. And we need to prepare for it. By developing skill sets that help us cope, help us excel. This is when we can proudly say that we have become our own man or own woman.
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