Can You Define the Root Cause of Your Marriage Problems?

OK, so you know you have marriage problems, or believe that you do but can you actually define what the root cause of your marriage problems actually is? You might believe that your marital issues are so great that you can't reconcile your differences but if you can't actually identify the true problem how do you actually know?

You're talking about a life long commitment here. How can you even consider throwing your marriage on the scrap heap if you can't even define what your marriage problems are? And I'm not talking about all the petty little issues that you are trying to pin the problem on, I'm talking about the real marriage problems, the ones that started the wedge between you and are continuing to drive you apart.

If you can't define the problems you have no chance of resolving them. You need to put some effort in here, it might seem like too much of a chore and a waste of your time but I can assure you that actually identifying what your true marriage problems / problem are, is time well spent.

Let me ask you one question, what is one of the best ways to learn? Most people will find that they learn by experience, by making their own mistakes and learning from them. Apply this to your marriage problems and you'll see that it's well worth understanding what's going on here. Understand what your marriage problems are, I mean really understand, and you'll have something to work with and learn from. If you know what you need to fix it's so much easier to fix it, this applies to marriage as much as it does to any other problems you have in life.

If you don't do something now the likelihood is that you'll live to regret it. What if you knew that just defining your marriage problems means that you have a strong chance of sorting your marriage out? Wouldn't that one piece of knowledge make you want to take action?

If you are reading this you are already searching for a solution and have probably already realised, like most things in life, there is no magic cure to marriage problems, but there is a systematic approach that can be applied to understand and resolve most marital issues, with understanding the root cause being the first step to getting your marriage back on track.

Just take some time to think about your marriage problems:

• If the intimacy is gone, where has it gone? It's not enough to know it's happened you need to understand why?

• If you no longer have anything in common, why? What did you used to do? When did things change? Why did things change?

• If you are continually arguing, when did it start? Why did it start? What changed?

• If one of you has had an affair, why did it happen? I'm not talking about the affair itself I'm talking about what was going on in your marriage before the affair started. Be totally honest here, were there problems with the marriage before the affair started? What were the problems?

This is just a small example of the kind of questions you need to ask yourself, obviously the type of questions are dependent on the marriage problems you need to address but I think by now you are starting to understand the basic fact that if you want to resolve your marriage problems and save your marriage you need to identify and understand what your marriage problems actually are.