Article written by Daryl Campbell -The Relationship Tip - The worst mistakes people make when they think they're being cheated on
In the movie Guide to A Married Man, Robert Morse is giving pointers to Walter Matthau in how to cheat on his wife. Morse is the player-player and Matthau is the new student eager to learn the art of adultery. When Matthau inquires what to do if his wife gets suspicious, Morse gives him the ultimate advice:
"Deny, deny, deny. No matter what she knows or thinks she knows, deny it."
Whether they have seen this movie or not many a cheating spouse has inherently internalized this advice. Deny commonly referred to as lying is an essential requirement for a cheating spouse.
We have all no doubt read or known people whose marriage is open. If they meet another person outside of the relationship who attracts them, then they go for it with the full approval of their significant other. In the old days this was known as wife swapping but as the sexual revolution of the sixties took off, the term was gradually replaced with another one; swinging. It not only denoted a lifestyle but also implied a certain amount of worldliness and sophistication.
That may be okay for some but the overwhelming majority of couples don't get married to become community property. Marriage as most of us understand it and practice is a commitment between two people exclusively.
But a cheating spouse does not quite see it that way. They want to have their cake and eat it too. Keep what they've got at home while still go out on the prowl for someone new. Yes it involves planning, money and timing but all of these come under the umbrella of lying.
Marital infidelity requires a constant covering of one's tracks but let's face it no one is perfect. So when a suspicious charge shows up on the billing statement or they suddenly start working longer hours at the job and you ask them about these things, they only have two options: confess or lie. You can bet if the guilt and realization of what they are doing has not stopped them so far, then the chances are pretty good they will reach for the lie.
Detecting this falsehood depends on how well you know them, not how well you THINK you know them. Some people are very good at lying. Not only can they get others to believe it but they start to buy into it a little themselves. Therefore let your instincts and powers of observation guide you.
An extramarital affair demands a certain amount of cleverness, so it stands the reason that you will have to do the same to catch them. Try not to be obvious in your questioning but what you are looking for are contradictions in what they are telling you. The one thing about lying is once a cheating spouse starts telling them then it is crucial they remember all of them. If not then they hope like anything your memory is not that good.
Many people when trying to catch an unfaithful spouse keep waiting for the big lie to manifest itself, and sometimes it does, but in a lot of instances it is the little ones which expose the most truth. So pay attention and also take note of their body language.
Of course if you do catch your significant other cheating they may take Robert Morse's advice and deny, deny deny. No surprise there since the fear of being discovered can make a cheating spouse say anything. Just keep in mind that the tighter they hold onto the lies, the closer you are to getting to the truth. The one you already know.
- Related Videos
- Related Articles
- Ask / Related Q&A
- Sign of a Cheating Spouse: Catching Them Just Got Tougher
- Sign of a Cheating Spouse: Why are They Arguing This Time?
- Cheating Spouse: Any Pedestal is Too High
- Catch a Cheating Spouse - Don't Let Infidelity End Your Relationship
- Catch a Cheating Spouse - Catch Them Now, Not Later
- Does an Extramarital Affair Automatically Lead to Divorce?
- Do You Suspect Your Spouse is Having an Extramarital Affair?
- Sign of a Cheating Spouse: the Plastic Does not Lie




Guidelines on How to Have the Best Honeymoon
By: Myriam Smith | 29/11/2009Apparently when they finally say, I do to each other in front of the congregation and God, couple's next move is moving away to a place where they can be on their own. As a result people are always searching for tips on how to have the best honeymoons with...
How To Make Sure She Orgasms Every Time During Cunnilingus - 3 Mind-Blowing Cunnilingus Techniques For You
By: Crid Lee | 29/11/2009Cunnilingus is the best way to make your girl experiences an earth-shattering orgasm during lovemaking. However, she will not reach orgasm if you just poke your tongue at her clitoris. You need to know how to do it right with proper cunnilingus techniques...
Exchanging your wedding rings and vows in an exotic location
By: John Lewis | 29/11/2009Have you ever thought about getting married somewhere extra special and making your wedding day a day to remember for both you and your guests?
A Few Tips You Should Know When Choosing Your Wedding Cake
By: TM Lung | 29/11/2009So you have decided to get married. The next step is to start planning for your wedding. You will need to spend a lot of time on your research. You will need to pay attentions to a lot of details. You will need to spend a lot of time on...
Help Save Marriage - 7 Tips You Can Start Using Today To Help Save Your Marriage
By: Will Scott | 28/11/2009Do not let your marriage end badly when these 7 tips can help save marriage from divorce. These are practical suggestions that you can start on today, and experience quick results. Notice the difference as you apply what you learn here.
Men Made Easy - How To Get Men To Commit
By: Ella Burton | 28/11/2009Most men nowadays are getting really picky most especially on the decision making phase of their lives. They tend to be choosy on food, clothing, materials so on and so forth. Though some of them are slaves for love but that doesn't mean that they really are obeying like dogs. It still depends on the character of a woman on how she may be able to win the heart of a man. Well, in other words, it is on how to get men to commit.
What Are the Things to Consider Before Your Wedding?
By: Simon Ekizian | 28/11/2009Weddings are a commitment; they are a way to celebrate your relationship and declaring to the world your loyal, undying love for each other. Such declarations turn into great responsibilities, especially when you have tiny feet running around in the house soon. That is why it is so jittery to...
Married and Cheating - How to Get Revenge and Blow Up Your Marriage
By: Daryl Campbell | 24/11/2009 | InfidelityWhat should you do when you find out your spouse is cheating? Confront them with the evidence and file for divorce? It makes sense. They betrayed the relationship so it is best to move on. But not so fast you tell yourself.
Is Your Spouse Cheating? Here Are 3 Signs to Help You Find Out
By: Daryl Campbell | 21/11/2009 | InfidelityThere is something going on. Maybe it's just the stress of every day life. But you have some suspicions about your spouse that will not go away.
Married and Cheating - When One Wrong Beats Another
By: Daryl Campbell | 19/11/2009 | MarriageThe hurt, pain and anger are very real when you find out your spouse is cheating and there are more than a few people who are not ready to forgive and forget so easy. To be specific they decide to take matters in their own hands.
Does She Like You? Signs to Tell If She Does
By: Daryl Campbell | 18/11/2009 | DatingYour friends say yes and wonder what you have been waiting for. Her friends have not exactly said yes but they seem to be giving you hints that the signs are definitely in your favor.
Ending Domestic Violence - The Number One Reason Many Victims Refuse to Leave
By: Daryl Campbell | 17/11/2009 | MarriageThe reason a victim of domestic violence does not leave an abusive relationship may sound strange to more than a few of us. But there is one rationale for many victims that we can no doubt relate to.
Older Women Younger Man - 3 Mistakes Older Women Should Avoid
By: Daryl Campbell | 16/11/2009 | DatingFor many older women who have been in previous relationships with someone more in their age range there may be a period of adjustment in dealing with a younger man. With that in mind there are a few things you should try to avoid.
The Cycle of Domestic Violence: Nobody Takes it Away
By: Daryl Campbell | 14/11/2009 | MarriageThere are two factors that many of us overlook and unfortunately the victim of domestic abuse does not have the luxury to dismiss. It is the abuser and the ramifications of leaving.
The Effects of Domestic Violence: Stealing Your Rights
By: Daryl Campbell | 13/11/2009 | DatingMany domestic abuse survivors have to start from scratch when it comes to rebuilding what was stolen. Those still in that situation are wondering will they ever get it back.