I wrote Lessons For A Happy Marriage: http://lessonsforahappymarriage.com to save marriage relationships from the marriage crisis in our country; it's about saving children. Let's stop divorce. The problems go beyond the failures of marriage counselors. My life's mission is to eradicate the need for divorce through focused education. If you are married, please tell your soul mate, "I love you."
Divorce mediation can be more than just helping people split property and create child-sharing programs. A good mediator will look beyond the current situation a couple is going through in order to help them see the possibility of remaining together.
There are Far More Motivators for Staying Together than for Splitting Up
If you have children, your incentive to remain as an intact family should be off the charts. Our society has downplayed the catastrophic experience of a child in a broken family so much that we have created a crisis of community and a lack of sincere effort on the parts of western psychologists to find solutions to common marital dilemmas.
Even the heart-wrenching effects of a cheating spouse can be worked through or transcended with the help of a good mediator who understands marriage and what it takes for a marriage to work. In my own mediation practice, not one couple who came to see me because of a cheating spouse ended up wanting to be divorced. Both the cheating spouse and the offended partner learned how to have a healthy, happy, and even joyous marriage. The ease with which people ask for and receive a divorce is nearly incomprehensible when one considers how simple it is to have the marriage of your dreams.
Look for the Good in the Cheating Spouse
Don't allow a weakness that brought about the infidelity to define the person who you chose to spend the rest of your life with. It is unfair to completely write someone off because of a disease. It is unfair to look at the manifestation of the disease and declare that person unworthy of your love. If someone is cheating on their spouse it isn't because they are evil. It is because they are weak in a particular area which will lead to their infidelity. That same person has certain strengths that impress and inspire others. It is those strengths you should focus upon.
Beating up a Cheating Spouse will Only Make Matters Worse
The idea of holding people accountable for their actions isn't part of the marriage contract; I'm sorry. The marriage contract describes how you are supposed to behave, not your spouse. You very well know that you have flaws you never want your spouse to be aware of, and maybe they never will be aware of them. So rather than making fun of or condemning your spouse for infidelity, you'll both be better off if you forgive them. Better yet, leave the forgiveness to God and learn how to not judge your spouse.
Learn how to focus on their positive attributes and be completely understanding of their slips and failures. Do you think someone will love you or hate you if you are completely understanding of them? Well, that is the whole point of showing unconditional love. By turning the spotlight of your mind on your own flaws, you will enhance the love in your marriage to stratospheric levels.
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