Five Tips for a Happy Christian Marriage

Church leaders and family members are reliable sources of Christian marriage advice. Sometimes, however, we want to be anonymous. We may not feel comfortable speaking to our pastor about intimate issues. Or, we may not wish to worry our families with our marital troubles.

Whether you have been married for 30 years or 30 days, these five tips will inspire you to reflect on your marriage. Based on your responses, you may decide to seek professional Christian marriage advice as a couple or individually.

1. Share your vision and your mission: you and your partner should have a shared vision. If you understand each other’s goals and support each other in pursuit of your dreams, you are more likely to maintain a passionate partnership marked by enthusiasm for life. You will not see your partner as an obstacle to be moved out of your way. Rather, he or she will be seen as your closest ally as you move steadily towards the future.

Think about working together to develop a mission statement that expresses your family’s values and your vision of success. If you are stuck, there are several books and online resources to guide you through this process. You may also wish to seek the services of a church leader for Christian marriage advice that will help you identify your vision.

2. Express gratitude: take time individually and as a couple to express gratitude for the life you share with each other. Throughout the day, acknowledge small, loving gestures. Let your partner know how much you appreciate these kind acts. It is also a good idea to express thanks in a more formal manner. Many couples choose to do this daily during dinner or before going to bed.

One helpful piece of Christian marriage advice is to keep a gratitude journal so that you can relive those moments of appreciation at times when you are finding it difficult to be thankful or cannot see the blessings in your life.

3. Love each other: all too often we forget that love is not a state of being, it is an act. Reflect on your behavior, your attitude and the way you communicate with your partner. Are you loving him or her in the truest sense of the word? If not, make some changes. Act out of love and gratitude. Listen and communicate respectfully. Find out what would make your partner feel more loved. Now, with the support of God, make a conscientious effort to love your partner as he or she deserves.

Christian marriage advice is rooted in a belief in the sanctity of marriage. By caring for our partner and meeting his or her needs, we surrender to them. We show them our love and reaffirm how important they are to use.

4. Seek forgiveness: you cannot control what your partner does; you can only focus on your thoughts and actions. Model the behavior that you admire and wish to see more of in your marriage. If you’ve made a mistake—and who hasn’t—come clean. Be honest with yourself, with God and with your partner. Without making excuses, seek forgiveness. Admitting to failure takes courage and it is often the first step towards thawing cold hearts and warming up a marriage that’s frozen over.

5. Make the most of your differences: the world is a rich, complex place in part because it is filled with diversity. Likewise, your marriage is enriched and complicated by the differences between you and your partner. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, though. Learn how your differences complement each other. What can you achieve together than would not be possible on your own. Instead of letting your dissimilarities worry you, develop a sense of appreciation and gratitude for how your personalities and abilities complete each other.

Integrate this Christian marriage advice and you should begin to enjoy a more loving and respectful partnership. And, on those days when you cannot find anything nice to say, remember that your partner is a child of God. Act accordingly.

I understand that all kinds of people experience personal difficulties from time to time. Over the course of a long life, I have found that once they are helped to understand what's going on in their lives they become empowered to change them for the better. Please visit my website www.maryshawe.com to browse the resources I have gathered here for you and learn how they hold the secrets to turn your life around.If you're particularly interested in marriage counseling, then please click here to read more about "Secrets of Successful Marriage

I also recommend Save your Christian Marriage by Rev. Lee H. Baucom, M.Div., Th.M., Ph.D for additional help and guidance.