I wrote Lessons For A Happy Marriage: http://lessonsforahappymarriage.com to save marriage relationships from the marriage crisis in our country; it's about saving children. Let's stop divorce. The problems go beyond the failures of marriage counselors. My life's mission is to eradicate the need for divorce through focused education. If you are married, please tell your soul mate, "I love you."
Marriage counseling is one of the most ridiculous industries in our country. Marriage issues cannot be solved through marriage counseling but they can be solved by married couples. If things get really haywire it means the couple doesn't understand marriage or the behavior required to bring peace, harmony and joy into their marital relationship.
Why do marriage counselors think they can help married couples anyway? Everybody knows the divorce rate for married marriage counselors is about the same for all other groups. It isn't like they go to "how to be married" schools and I know they don't read my Lessons For A Happy Marriage because if they used the tools I offer they would have to become car mechanics or something; their clients issues would be resolved so fast their practices would dissolve quicker than the so-called issues.
It is a great shame that the marriage counseling industry has co-opted all others who wish to help married couples by making it illegal for anyone other than them and a few others to help professionally. In the state of California only lawyers (what do they know about being married?!), ordained ministers (I happen to agree with that one), and licensed psychologists (who have proven they don't know a thing about marriage by their results over the last hundred years) are allowed to give professional marital counseling advice. It is time to lift the veil and admit that being married is only tough for those who are uneducated about marriage.
I'm not the only one who offers help to those with marital problems in the form of useful lessons. I'm sure that any practical human being who takes a close look at marriage, as I have, will come up with pretty much the same "how to" manual that I came up with.
Here are five simple ways to resolve marriage issues that you can start using right now, without a college degree.
1) Stop being angry with your spouse and stop demonstrating your anger
Anger is the equivalent of doggy do. It stinks, it sticks, and nobody wants to step in it. If you are angry with your spouse all you are doing is blocking the sunshine of love. Don't try to tell me you can't help it. It is your mind that is infected with anger and it is you who can rid your mind of that anger. If your spouse is angry at you then you need to become very compassionate and understanding without pandering.
2) Stop making such a big deal of things you won't even remember tomorrow
The world is constantly poking at you, I know. But don't take it out on your spouse. If they do something that appears to be offensive towards you it is up to you to remind yourself that they are not perfect either and obviously suffering at the hands of the world also. Face the world together. It is better to take things in stride by looking past them and seeing the love in the heart of your spouse. That is what attracted you to them in the first place. Look past everything else and love them with all your heart.
3) Get rid of your expectations
Most people live day to day looking forward to a vacation or a birthday party. Be different; think of ways you can improve yourself as a human being and focus on that work. If you do that your expectations about how you should be treated and what is fair will soon dissipate and cause you no more grief.
4) Become a channel of God's love
When you see yourself as a working servant for God you won't have time to entertain so-called issues within your marriage because you will be too busy showing your spouse how much you love them.
5) Be grateful for what you get and what you have
The suffering in this world is more than anyone could bear and the potential you have for love and security is a gift you should accept with an open and grateful heart.
The rules for a harmonious marriage are accessible to everyone. And the logic behind using the rules could not be simpler; follow the rules and have a great marriage.
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