1.The Queen of Diamonds
If you are romantic, then avoid this one if you can. A dead giveaway: if the word "generous" appears in her profile, then head for the hills (unless she's talking about herself - in that case she may be a Green Card Mama). These women sell themselves to the highest bidder - and just in case think you're in no danger just because you're not rich, remember that if your mail order bride is from a poor country and you are at least class, you're probably rich by her standards. The Queen of Diamonds type can be further subdivided into two varieties - the Good Queen and the Wicked Queen. The Good Queens are quite straightforward with honest intentions - it's normal and accepted in many cultures for a woman to marry for financial reasons. The Wicked, on the other hand, wants to trick you into believing that she loves you. If your Wicked Queen is beautiful, there's a good chance that once you get her home she'll find someone richer than you are.
2. The Green Card Mama
This one wants to marry a place, not a person - and a husband will get them through immigration a lot easier than a rubber dinghy on the Rio Grande. Some of these will sneak past you before you even get out of the airport; others will wait for the right moment to hit the highway. Some are happy to live as illegal immigrants; others will wait for their green card to arrive before announcing "I'm sorry sweetie, it just won't work!"
But hey, they're not all bad. If you feel cynical after reading this, stay tuned for Part II, which offers a far more optimistic assessment of two other kinds of mail order brides - the Traditional Wife and the Hopeless Romantic.
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