Marriage Counseling Will Not Produce A Healthy Marriage

Isn't it true that if you contact somebody listed as an appliance repairman to repair your washing machine, you expect them to be able to fix it? And wouldn't it be strange if you found out people who listed themselves as appliance repairmen had a success rate of less than 10% when it came to repairing washing machines?

Well hold onto your hat!

Not only do marriage counselors have about the same rate of divorce as everyone else, but their success rate in helping other couples is typically below 10%. Worse than that, most people who go to marriage counselors end up getting a divorce within a year; their usual excuse is that these people were "destined" to get a divorce but made a last ditch effort. But that's like a doctor who loses all of his patients to death saying they were going to die anyway; it just doesn't cut it.

Yet marriage counselors get away with it because of the protection they get from their professional organizations; the whole thing is very disturbing. It is most disturbing to me because of the number of children impacted by divorce.

Isn't a 50 to 60% divorce rate extremely high by any standard?

Marriage is Spiritual by Nature, Not Psychological

The reason marriage counseling will not produce a healthy marriage is because marriage counseling is an attempt at treating people's psychological difficulties instead of addressing the innate structural problems within the marriage. A psychologist wrongly believes the partners need to be psychologically fully functional, and that is just plain wrong.

God invented marriage and knows very well that we're not perfect. He created marriage so we would have a safe haven in this chaotic world. He didn't create marriage in order for us to have more focused suffering. But if we approach marriage psychologically instead of spiritually we completely miss the points for which marriage was intended and we will inevitably suffer a great deal.

The way to a healthy marriage is through learning the fundamental spiritual principles that define marriage as well as the behaviors that are conducive and beneficial.

The Spiritual Principles that Define Marriage are Simple

Many couples spend six, eight or even more months trying to improve their marriage through regular marriage counseling and therapy. I met with many such couples who came to see me because in spite of all of their effort their marriage was not progressing. Typically within 20 minutes these couples were gazing lovingly into each other's eyes, holding hands and reaffirming the love that initially brought them together.

Not one couple I met with needed more than six hours to create a solid foundation for their newfound marriage. The simplicity of spiritual principles is overwhelming in their purity. They are easy to understand and easy to utilize.

Never give up hope. Stop banging your heads against the wall. When your effort is made in the right direction the results come quickly. If your efforts are unimaginably intense but aimed in the wrong direction you will never succeed. Learn and follow the fundamental spiritual principles that create and guide a healthy marriage so you can know the promised joy.