Marriage Infidelity: Discovering What You Did not Want to Know

You've always prided yourself on think things through and not jumping to conclusions. This has been your modus operandi for years and it has been very beneficial to you. But this logic has also been greatly assisted by your instincts. When something was wrong your instinct always alerted you to the problem, even when your logic gave you the signal that everything was okay.

This time around your senses took the lead again and informed you that things were not quite right with your spouse. It wasn't anything blatant; but the subtle changes in their work schedule or the way you would catch them looking at you from time to time spoke volumes to your instincts.

So you took the next step and started doing a little detective work. It was not long before you found what you were looking for. Contradictions in certain excuses they gave you previously, unexplained time gaps and a change in attitude led you to only made things worse. From that point on it became all too obvious that your spouse was having an extramarital affair.

Yet while you were gathering the proof to confirm your suspicions, you were being pulled in two different directions.

A part of you wanted to know all the sordid details so that when you confront your spouse you can basically nail them from all directions and watch them attempt to weasel out of it. You've already told yourself the relationship is over but you want them to feel the pain you are dealing with. They have got it coming and you are going to make sure they get it in full force.

But it’s not that easy. Your significant other has meant so much to you. The good times the two of you shared along with the rough moments seemed to make you love each other even more; at least that's how you felt.

And now no matter what has occurred, you still have those emotions. Going thru the process of finding out your spouse was having an extramarital affair may be the most painful ordeal you have ever been through. You hoped of course it was not true and even after finding out unfortunately that it was, that other side of you still had no desire to end the relationship.

Some couples that have been injured by an extramarital affair do manage to keep the relationship going. In some instances they come back stronger than before. The majority do not. For many people it is the definitive act of treachery. Finding out if your spouse is cheating can be painful to the core; however not taking the steps to find out and just living with the suspicions may hurt a whole lot worse.