Marriage Infidelity: Stay or Go

It takes a lot of strength and effort to be married and stay married. No one should ever get their way all the time so for that reason you are going to have to compromise in some areas. If you were single then it's a little easier to hold your ground.

But you do compromise. Not out of weakness but from love, caring, respect and understanding. You are also trusting them to do the same. So when you find out that your significant other is cheating then it feels like everything you have done to make the relationship a success has been tossed out the window. That goes extra for the trust.  Once lost it takes a monumental effort to get it back. Even when couples decide to make the decision to stay together, the bond is rarely the same.

And that in essence is what the overriding question will be for anyone who has been the victim of cheating spouse. Should you tough it out or end the relationship?

One out of every two marriages in the United States ends in divorce. There are of course a multitude of reason why these relationships end but marital infidelity takes its rightful place as one of the main ones. 

There are so many factors to consider before deciding whether to end the relationship or carry on. They include

1. Acknowledgement

It's not necessarily that you want to see your partner grovel but there has to be a genuine understanding on their part of what they did wrong and a recognition of the hurt they have caused. Apologizing is only one step. It has to be followed by an effort on their part to truly make amends and recommit to the relationship which leads to…

2. Saying Goodbye

There's no middle ground on this one. For a cheating spouse to start the recovery process they must sever all ties with the other person. This also comes back to you trusting them to do it. Life intrudes so there is no way you can watch them twenty four hours a day yet believing that they will do the right thing has to part of the healing process if you are ever to consider going forward with the relationship.      

3.  Coming Clean

When they talk about the affair do you still get the feeling they are holding something back? To put it bluntly does it seem like they are still lying about certain aspects of their marital infidelity. If they are then it means they are not truly acknowledging what they did. This becomes a little clearer when you notice that they are trying to assign some of the responsibility for their actions onto you. That's a good indicator that they may not be ready to give up their philandering.

4. Again?

That is the sixty four thousand dollar question that will continuously nag at you. When they are late or every time they walk out that door, you are going to wonder. That's the damage an extramarital affair can have on your psyche as well as your relationship. Can you get past it or will the constant suspicion be too much of a burden for you to handle?

There are many other aspects that go into deciding whether to go forward or end your marriage when you find out your spouse is cheating. The key is to not let outside forces make that decision for you. Because in the final analysis what is truly at stake more than the relationship itself is your peace of mind.