Married Advice: Let's Get Away From It All

Many couples look at spouses that have been married a long time and vow that it will never happen to them. The whole humdrum predictability of the relationship has squeezed the romance out of a lot of marriages while at the same time bringing them to a grinding halt.  And then without realizing it, the same couples fall victim. 

It's not like they went out of their way to make it happen. In their opinion they did everything possible to fight it off.  The problem is it is so easy to fall into the trap. Naturally in a relationship there has to be a certain amount of routine. After all you need to pay the rent or mortgage so the two of you have to go to work. Then if you have kids you have to attend to their needs on a regular basis until they are old enough to fend for themselves.

Of course there are other obligations within and outside of the relationship that require your attention more often than you would probably like. Add to the fact that you only have twenty four hours in a day which means your time is limited to get things done. Also we are human and can only do so much before our bodies demand that we rest.

In going from one obligation to another, it is not too hard to figure out why marriages can effortlessly fall into a rut. Life intrudes and it can be a chore finding a way to make time for yourself let alone share quality time with your spouse. 

Sometimes the answer is to shake things up a bit and one of the best ways is to be impulsive.  Both of you have accumulated enough sick or vacations days from your respective jobs. Use them periodically. Don't just wait for that annual two week vacation to your regular travel destination; take a day or two off, hop into a car and go. Where? Whatever direction your car is pointed in. 

Too scary? Then pick out a place the two of you have never been, go online and do some research. If you go this route then make sure the two of you are doing this together. You work on one phase while your spouse takes the other. Call each other at work and share what you have learned.

This can get the two of you really fired up about going. Do not wait too long and spend an inordinate amount of time planning. Taking too much time has a way of planting the seeds of doubt which makes it easier to find excuses as to why you can't go. 

There is going to be a certain amount of routine in every marriage relationship. That's fine. Stability is important. But stability does not mean that fun and excitement get put on a shelf until an opportunity presents itself. That may never happen so it is important for you and your spouse to take the initiative and create those opportunities as much as possible.  That's a routine that can keep your marriage enjoyable for years to come.