Married and Cheating: the Player Won't Retire

You have never been the kind of person that takes anything for granted. That goes double for your relationships. You knew your spouse was a good catch. This was confirmed by many people including their family and friends. Your spouse is a real head turner and during their days of being single they never wanted for companionship.

But hey. You're not so bad yourself. However all of this is beside the point. When you committed to this person, you gave up the single life and put everything you had into building a solid relationship. You also figured that they would do the same and for awhile it appeared they were doing just that. Come to find out, they were not.

We have all seen the numbers on marriage infidelity. Depending on what survey you run across the numbers can vary wildly. But on average 50% of spouses have admitted to cheating on their spouse at least once. The reasons like the polls vary. Some say they are trapped in a loveless marriage or the new person understands them better than anyone. Again there are a myriad of excuses why.

For the players all these explanations can apply. However there is also a different set of motives unique to this group:

1. Ego

Right or wrong there is something in the human psyche that makes us feel good when someone outside of our current relationship finds us attractive particularly if that someone is also attractive. With the player, it doesn't stop there. Those feelings are meant to be acted upon. Flirtation gives way to conquest. They want what they want and nothing is going to stand in their way. Another notch in the belt satisfies the old ego pretty thoroughly. Until next time.

2. Fear of the Touchless

They had it like that in the single life but the confines of marriage have given way to fear that they have lost their stroke. As a result they have to satisfy their own curiosity as to whether they still have the magic touch. The problem is the fear never leaves them. It comes back periodically with a force and the cycle starts all over again.

3. The Slick

They never did quit their philandering ways, they just tricked you into thinking they did. A cheating spouse does not just want to have their cake and eat it too; they want the whole bakery. So how do they do it? More than likely, they just recall the times when they were single and juggling multiple partners. Now it's just a matter of making the necessary adjustments. Thankfully for them the cell phone has made coordinating their activities (and your whereabouts) a lot easier.

Of course it does not apply to all but many players find it difficult if not impossible to quit playing even though nobody twisted their arm to get married. Ego and habit are a powerful combination and unless the player is serious about building a healthy relationship with the person they are married to right now, then they never truly retire from the game.