Put Aside Complacency and Stir Up a Little Romance in your Life

How many marriages and long-term relationships lead to a life of complacency? You love each other and you’d say that you’re both happy and satisfied in general—but not in the bedroom. Whether due to having kids, working a higher-stress job, or just a general feeling of boredom, gone are the days early in your relationship when you could hardly fall asleep each night out of excitement. Now you can hardly stay awake.

Sometimes the fact is that only one partner really has lost all of his or her libido while the other partner craves more. Don’t assume just because you’re lost in your world of kids, work, and hobbies that your partner feels happy being “pushed aside.” If one partner wants to rekindle the romance, the other partner can speak with his or her doctor about potential reasons for his or her decreased libido and possible prescriptions or supplements to counteract the problem.

Couples counseling is another option if you can’t seem to open up with your partner about your lack of or excess of sexual desire. Relationships are built on compromise and a professional therapist can help you reach a compromise that will leave you both satisfied. If you think you can’t afford counseling, ask your doctor to refer you to a local inexpensive or free counselor, like one at the YMCA or a place of worship.

You don’t necessarily need the help of prescriptions or counselors to stir up a little romance in your life, though! First, sit down with your partner and discuss what may have led to your decreased sex life.

What are some of biggest turn-offs for men and women that seem to interfere with the compromise of relationships? The first for both sexes is bad hygiene. You may not have to work as hard to appeal to your partner as you did on your first date, but don’t go in the opposite direction and completely give up all effort, either. If you want to set the mood for romance, make sure you look and smell great!

Another turn-off? Women especially can’t get into the romantic mood when their partners want to jump straight to sex without any cuddling, “romancing,” or foreplay. Men frequently are frustrated when they do cuddle and try their best at romance and it doesn’t lead to sex.

The important compromise to remember is that cuddling, romancing, and a little touching is always important. It should often but not always have to lead to sex. Women want to feel that they’re loved and not just desired for sex, but men feel that they are more capable of expressing their love through sex. Recognize what your partner feels and try to reach him or her half way.

What kind of pre-bedroom romance can you both enjoy? Start by setting aside at least one night each week that you can devote entirely to each other. Get a sitter for the kids, put aside your worries about work, and relive your early days in the relationship.

What were your favorite dating spots back then? Take your partner to the movies, the museum, or the park. Exercise together by riding a bike or jogging through your neighborhood. Take your partner out for a romantic dinner at a classy restaurant or better yet, you could create a completely private and sensual romantic dinner experience right at home!

Candles, calming music, and fine silverware are only the start of setting a romantic dinner mood. Cooking can be sensual by releasing mouth-watering aromas in anticipation of your meal. Need some help designing a romantic meal that’s both healthy and an aphrodisiac? Try enlisting the help of Cupid’s Cook at www.cupidscook.com!

Start lighting up your romantic life by setting aside just one night a week to spend in the company of your partner. You’ll have such fun becoming aroused by reliving your early days of romance that you’ll find yourself a little short on sleep again!