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Selection of Life Partner
Author: George  | Posted: 28-03-2008 | Comments: 0 | Views: 41 | Rating: (60)  (?) 
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What is Marriage?
1.Marriage can be defined as the divine contract between two persons, a male and female, in the cultural setting, to live together and to share life ,till death separates any of the two. It is ordained by God and thus the church is witness of this contract.
Marriage is the ceremony by which a family is instituted.
Family can be defined as Parents and their children dwelling together not as any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts and cousins as all those persons descended from a common progenitor and as the group of persons who from a house including parents, children, servants etc.
[American college dictionary (1957)New York, Random house.]
Another definition follows.
Family is the smallest and basic unit of the society. We can call family as “the society in the society”. Family can be defined as functionally and structurally. It’s structure can be defined as persons joined together for their sharing and co-existence, by the way of marriage, blood relations and or adoption. Functions are to be defined as:
1. Legal procreation of descendents
2. Rearing of siblings and giving them cultural heritage, strengthen them to have their own living and have socialization.
3. Mutual sharing and Development.
a. Sharing of one’s feelings, to become helpful to one another in both troubles and happiness.
b. Economics sharing
c. Sexual sharing of persons untied by marriage
4. To have legal inheritance of properties (in many countries) etc.
The practices of marriage are different in different cultures but the basic aspects behind it are same. There are practices such as monogamy, polygamy, polyandry, group marriage and being single. There are practices such as mate swapping, extramarital relations homo relations, lesbian relation etc. which are against to the traditional system of monogamy but these practices are accepted in some countries. In some countries living together without proper marriage (cohabiting) and sharing sex is also permitted. Sociologist and psychologists have identified a variety of factors that operate to attract people together and have mate selection which are.
1. Physical attractiveness or beauty
2. Nearness or propinquity
3. Cultural equality or Homogamy
and some theorists add further such as
1. Complementary needs [example for my I am poor in cooking I need a wife who knows cooking well]
2. Social exchange [by which we all have psychological stability]
Types of marriage in different places.
Are 1.monogamy 2. Polygamy 3. polyandry 4. the commune marriage & 5. the two stage trial marriage.
There can be endogamous marriage [extra class marriage is prohibited, that is out side the clan].and exogamous marriage[marriage inside the clan is prohibited , and such is considered as incest relationship]
There are three stages in marriage and preparation for marriage, as Josef Murstain said 1.Stimulus 2.Value 3. Role Theory . [ Eli Ginsberg also propose similar stages of vocational choice. that is sensational, verification and reality period]
Let us see what happens in each stage, and what should be done.
How we select a life partner?
Arranged marriage &love marriage
Since we are in more in feeling level at sensational stage assessment of the candidate may not be if an intelligent manner.
Allow more verification period.
The opposite sex parent is the basis of our marital selection criteria.
From there we knit other factors.
Qualities of good persons, Medias attractions etc. With all this we make an ideal mate concept. At the time of selection we move towards that.
. Anselm Strauss (1945) in his study found that a person thus make an ideal image of a mate in his mind. “These ideal mate images operate more or less conscious instrument in the initial state of mate selection. More often he makes a compromise and finds other factors to be more important”
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Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/selection-of-life-partner-371937.html
 About the Author:Priest of a protestant church in India.49 yrs old.Interested in psychology ,theology,and ethics.Written many studies ,articles and poems.
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