The Cheating Spouse: Will They Do it Again?

Stay or go. That's the only thing that's been on your mind since you found out your significant other was cheating on you. It feels like everything you worked for to make this relationship a success has disappeared overnight.

It did not come as a complete shock to you since certain signals appeared to point in that direction. Their behavior towards you had changed. Maybe it wasn't one "aha" moment but something had them distracted to the point you could not help but notice.

Your spouse called you crazy or got very indignant when you confronted them previously. They provided dates, times witnesses and other amazingly air tight alibis to back them up.

In fact they were so convincing that you almost took their word for it except that tiny voice inside of you kept telling you that something is the matter.

Now it's all out in the open. Your significant other comes clean. Their sorry for what they have done and what they have put you and the rest of the family thru. They ask your forgiveness and promise to never cheat again.

Their have been more than a few couples that have suffered through an extramarital affair, yet they manage to not only survive but come back even stronger. But for many couples the pledge to never stray again cannot overcome the doubt that the cheating spouse will do exactly that.

And that's the problem. No matter how sincere your significant other, there is no guarantee that they won't fall into the same old habits. For instance they say part of the reason they cheated was the felt neglected by you.

You disagree but for the sake of argument let's say their right. You do everything in your power to make sure they realize you care for them. Will it be enough or will they move the goalpost as an excuse to carry on another extramarital affair?

What if they just can't help themselves? They see a pretty face that attracts them and it's game on. They have no intention of giving up their lifestyle but if telling you what you want to hear can gain them more time and space than so be it.

Or it could be a hundred other reasons. That's what an extramarital affair can do to a relationship. It casts a permanent cloud of doubt over everything within the relationship.

If your significant other goes out you wonder if they are really going where they tell you or who is it they are talking to on the phone. Every credit card charge which you may not be familiar with or a change in their appearance and attitude can have you asking yourself, "What are they up to?"

There is no assurance a cheating spouse won't cheat again. Maybe it was just one of those things and they do recommit to the relationship to make it work. The bottom line is you don't know for sure but more than anything else you must ask yourself can you live with that uncertainty.