What Women Really Want in Sex

One of the biggest breakthroughs in the study of human sexuality in the 1960s was the acknowledgment of what are called erogenous zones – areas on the body that have heightened sensitivity, and which are connected directly to sexual response. By knowing what they are, where they are, and how to touch a woman there in just the right way, you’ll increase both her pleasure and your own. The five major erogenous zones are:

1. Her lips. Take the tip of your finger and softly stroke your own lip. Feels nice, doesn’t it? There are a lot of nerve endings in our lips, and the best way to bring pleasure to a woman’s mouth is by kissing her. Be sexy and playful, alternate between kissing her upper lip and lower lip, and gently caressing her tongue with yours.

A nice long bout of kissing will get both of you warmed up and in the mood – if you’ve been with your partner for some time, rediscover the pleasure of simply kissing each other, long and slow – many couples stop “making out” after they’ve been together for awhile, and sex becomes perfunctory and predictable. So why not get back to basics and spend some time just kissing each other the way you used to?

2. Her neck. This is the secret hotspot of female desire that’s been known by successful Lotharios since time began. Just keep your desire to bite in check – neck kisses should be light and sensuous. Make sure your lips aren’t dry, but they shouldn’t be sloppy wet, either. Kiss different areas of her neck softly, paying attention to what part of the neck makes her toes curl.

The area just below the ear is usually highly sensitized – brush your lips lightly there while breathing out through your nose, and the combined sensation will give her goosebumps. Many second dates have been guaranteed by a sexy neck kiss at the end of an evening! When making love, start with light kisses and then graduate to gentle nibbles as you progress, saving the more fervent biting for when her passion is reaching its peak.

3. Her breasts. If you’re like most men, getting your hands on her breasts is so thrilling you may be inclined to hold back on the attention you give them because you don’t want her to think you’re an animal. But what most women won’t tell you (at least not at the very beginning of a relationship) is that they love it when a man spends plenty of time on their breasts. The entire breast is a network of nerve endings, and here’s something you may not know – they have the same number of nerve endings no matter how big they are.

So smaller breasts are more sensitive, and require a lighter touch, while large breasts can be fondled more forcefully (in fact, many women with large breasts actually prefer more rigorous handling, biting and sucking for maximum pleasure). The best way to drive a woman mad with pleasure is to start by kissing and caressing the sides and undersides of her breast, slowly moving inward. Ignore her hints that you go straight for the nipple and continue to tease her, taking several minutes to get to your goal.

With either the tip of your tongue or a dampened finger, gently touch her nipple, finally taking it in your mouth and sucking on it when she’s starting to twitch with impatience. Discover her preference for light or gentle touch in the area by watching her reactions, and by asking her what she prefers,

4. The inside of her thighs. This is an extremely sensitive area, and some women are ticklish here, so if she doesn’t like it, back off. But most women, especially if they’re already aroused, love the feeling of a warn hand stroking its way up their inner thigh. It’s also a great way to build anticipation – keeping caressing her thigh, slowly moving higher and higher, but take your time. You both know where your hand is headed, but the suspense in a big part of the fun.

5. The clitoris. The most obvious erogenous zone is also one of the most seriously misunderstood, particularly if a man has received most of his sexual “how-to” tips from watching pornographic videos. For starters, women vary wildly in what sort of clitoral stimulation they enjoy.

Some women want a lot of direct stimulation, rubbing it vigorously like it’ a tiny penis, while other women are so sensitive that it can barely be touched at all. If you’ve been successful with one woman and think you know all about how to pleasure a woman in this area, think again – your next lover may be completely different.

The best way to find out what she likes?

Ask her.

The best time to ask is when you’re in bed together and she’s becoming very aroused. Her defenses will be down and she’ll be more likely to discuss her preferences without embarrassment. You can also ask her to take your hand and show you how you should proceed – it’s educational, and it’s fun for you, too!