Your Biggest Marriage Problems - You Can Solve Them!

Yes, your biggest marriage problems can be solved! All you need is some guidance and some loving tenaciousness. I can give you the guidance, but the love and tenaciousness are up to you. Just don't lose heart and don't give up!

If you have been struggling with marriage problems for a long time you are probably anxious to get them out of the way so that you can move on into a loving and fun relationship.

However, solving marriage problems can be difficult without outside advice.

Of course you would like to be able to talk it out with your spouse, but there's the rub. For most couples, lack of communication usually causes most of their problems. Great communication is something a healthy marriage cannot do without.

Why is it that other couples don't seem to wrestle with these problems? It may seem that way, but I guarantee that all married couples have problems. What makes the difference is how the way they handle their problems, so you never see them. They have learned to eliminate them quickly and efficiently.

**How To Make Your Biggest Marriage Problems Worse!**

It's easy to make your biggest marriage problems worse...just clam up and don't communicate (or worse yet, communicate in a hostile way).

Here's what usually happens. (Note: the "you" in this example can be you, your spouse or both):

>>> You are doing your best to get your point across and you think you're doing a pretty good job. However, you are not listening to yourself. The tone of your voice and the way you look and move is demonstrating that you are angry with your spouse. Your spouse responds negatively.

>>> So you get more upset. Instead of explaining your concerns in a calm and loving manner, you accuse and criticize your spouse.

>>> You are carrying on a conversation...but it is a one-way conversation. Your spouse listens while you talk...and what you say hurts. Your spouse responds negatively.

>>> You and/or your spouse get defensive. Once this happens everything goes to pot. If your spouse is getting defensive, perhaps you're getting too offensive.

>>> You can cause your spouse to clam up. If your spouse refuses to talk, it's time to examine yourself to see if you are coming across in a harsh or offensive manner. You may be the cause.

If this describes you, your spouse, or both of you, do your best to correct the above and watch things change.

**3 Steps To Resolving Your Marriage Problems**

Here are three quick steps for using good communication to resolve even your biggest marriage problems:

Step 1 - Preparation.

Spend some time thinking about the problem and write what you discover down. Remember, you will be talking to the one you married because you love and cherish him or her. Don't accuse or blame anyone, just tell your spouse how you feel and assure your spouse of your love.

When your spouse tells you how he or she feels, don't blame, just accept that your spouse feels that way. Real love will be compassionate and will desire to heal any hurt feelings.

Step 2 - Choose The Right Time To Talk.

Decide on a time you will talk about your problem. Make sure it is a time when you are both rested and feel your best. Avoid talking about problems when you are tired or have just come home from work.

Step 3 - Remember Your Goals.

Agree that you are trying to find solutions and not to argue. Once you understand how each other feels, write down some ways you can avoid repeating whatever it is that causes frustration or anger. Do all in love.

There is a whole lot more to solving your biggest marriage problems than what is stated above: