Challenging our Fears in Men’s Group Therapy

(by Armand D. Lebovits, LCSW and Ragnor Storaasli, Ph.D.)

"...it takes a lot of courage and fearlessness to join a men's group."

As psychotherapists working with men in therapy, we have found that men are looking everywhere but in. It takes a lot of pain, hurt and failures before men are usually willing to look at themselves. It takes a lot of courage and fearlessness to join a men’s group and look at our selves and communicate honestly; a men’s group creates a special space for men to talk about that we truly think, what we need, what we want, what we feel and what we are experiencing. In the company of men, men are able to make conscious decisions around what they want to change and what not to change. In an all- male group, men have the opportunity to form close relationships with other men, to realize that they are not alone with their problems, issues, and concerns; and to discover that other men also struggle with not being able to get in touch with their feelings, or to identify and know that they are, in fact, anxious or depressed, or full of anger or rage. Do you relate to or identify with this?

For many men, the idea of joining a men’s group conjures up visions of dancing and drumming around campfires, or consciousness raising exercises, transforming them into soft, granola-eating, sensitive men. It’s easier to make fun of your images of men’s groups than to challenge your own fears in therapy.

Group therapy offers men a chance to observe and be observed by other men and a therapist in a social context. Men can bring up a concern from home or work and get honest and constructive feedback from a variety of perspectives.

Group also allows men to see how they present themselves in social interactions, and what personal and interpersonal issues emerge, that can be generalized to other parts of their lives. Direct, honest feedback is what you can expect from group therapy.

Why not see what men can learn from each other? Participating in a men’s group will give you the opportunity to experience what men can learn from each each in a safe and supportive environment.

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