Bereavement Help

My name is Maurice Turmel, also known as “Dr Moe.”  I am the author of “How to Cope with Grief and Loss – Bereavement Audio Ebook.”  There are many products on the web today offering programs and strategies for dealing with grief, loss and bereavement.  This audio ebook is one of them, but stands out in a very significant way.

Over my 25 years of professional practice I learned that grieving individuals had the hardest time dealing with their feelings of loss and the ensuing emotions that would come rushing to the fore.  It’s true that grief, loss and bereavement are difficult experiences to transcend.  But it is not true that this has to be an overwhelming and debilitating experience.  It only seems so because so few of us are well versed in dealing with these effects.

In my first year of practice I interned at a Cancer Hospital where grief, loss and bereavement were on the menu every day.  Families came with their sick loved ones to spend their last few days together in a comfortable and supportive environment. Facing the imminence of death was always easier for the person dying.  Family members died a little themselves as they watched their loved one fade away.

In the end, the grieving family had the most difficulty with the finality of their loved one’s passing. Emotions would run high at these times and the intensity of feelings was palpable.  I quickly learned that this is where we had to focus to help bereaved individuals recover.  Their feelings and emotions came to the fore as the most important aspect of the grief and bereavement recovery process.

When working with grieving individuals and families, I took the position that we had to focus on what they were feeling, which more often than not, was exactly what they wanted to avoid.  In the end they would see what I was aiming at and why it was essential to follow that path. If they truly wanted to heal, then their feelings and emotions had to be dealt with head on.

After only a few sessions of dealing with feelings and emotions and letting themselves cry when they needed to, the necessary pattern was set. Grieving individuals would surrender to their feelings, journal about them and report back to me.  Eventually acknowledging and claiming their feelings served to validate their sense of self as well as their bereavement experience. In very short order, they could do this on their own.

This pattern of helping individuals focus on and accept their feelings became the foundation of my approach to counselling and therapy, not just for grief and bereavement, but for a whole host of other issues as well.  Whatever the circumstances that brought a grieving individual to my office, this approach always yielded the greatest results.

Not only did these individuals learn to grieve properly, but they also learned to use these tools for their own self-development. Turns out that learning to deal with our feelings and emotions has a benefit far beyond what grief, loss and bereavement would require.  Quite a bonus, I thought.

From this experience I learned that the key to our personal growth lies in identifying and expressing whatever feelings are arising within us at any given time, especially when we’re troubled.  Grief, loss and bereavement always elicit powerful emotional responses which need to be heard, validated and expressed safely.  So many therapeutic approaches and standard religious practices tend to vilify emerging feelings of anger, frustration, depression, hurt and despair, driving individuals to repressing their emotions even further.

Even though it’s useful to know, you can’t do bereavement by just identifying and listing the stages. You can’t do bereavement by reciting platitudes such as “This is God’s will” or “Grieving takes time” or “Surrender to Christ” or anything like this.  You also can’t do bereavement by trying to replace your so-called negative thoughts, such as the range of feelings listed above, with positive thoughts as some New Age practitioners would advise. No such luck on either count!

Platitudes and thought replacement are always delivered by people who don’t know how to deal with their own feelings and are themselves seriously repressed.  It’s easy to spot them; they are visibly uncomfortable when anyone becomes intensely emotional.

Our Bereavement Audio Ebook is designed to put you in touch with your feelings of grief and loss, to help you get used to visiting this part of your inner world so you come to know it as well as other experiences in your life.  This is where the greatest progress can be made.  As you explore, identify and register your feelings to yourself through your journal, you will start to see a picture develop.  You’re creating a roadmap to your feeling center and this will serve you in your grief recovery and for the rest of your life.

Yes, this is hard and painful work, no different than having a tooth pulled or an infected wound cleaned out and stitched up.  We put up with such pain because we know there will be benefits. Grieving your loved one through feeling your feelings is no different. It hurts! It is painful! And it will make you cry!  So what?  Emotional wounds heal just as well as physical wounds when they are properly treated and this Is “The Treatment of Choice” if you truly want to feel better.  That’s all we’re talking about here, the proper way to treat the emotional wound of grief and bereavement.

This approach is not new.  It’s been charted in our cultural and historical mythology for thousands of years.  We just lost sight of it when we became enamoured with our ability to control nature through our intellect. There is no intellectual path through grief and bereavement; it is, and will always be, an emotional journey, pure and simple. What I’m doing here is resurrecting this knowledge and applying it alongside of everything we know about psychology and spirituality today.  Grief and bereavement can be healed as easily as any physical wound, and this feeling approach is the right way to do it.

This is what our Bereavement Audio Ebook can do for you; guide you through the process of feeling your feelings, naming them for clarification and journaling about them to vent them out.  Sharing your feelings verbally with trusted others is equally beneficial and certainly recommended. How to Cope with Grief and Loss reinforces this as well. Now, what would you like to do for yourself?