Struggling WIth Addiction

Some people become addicted to alcohol, drugs, food, people, the Internet, playing computer games, watching TV, talking on the telephone, and some people become addicted to driving. It seems as if most people have an addictive personality. Where does the addictive personality come from? Is it because of how we grew up, religious upbringing, family troubles and addictions that our parents had, or is it just because we all need to fill some gap that is in our hearts and our minds? Is it mental or is it physically, why we get hooked on things? How can we break away from addictions? When I first became addicted to things was when I was a teenager. The addiction then was peer pressure and alcohol. I would stay out all hours of the night, drinking and partying. My parents would think I was at a friend’s house, safe and asleep under their roof, but the truth was that my friend and I snuck out and went on a partying spree. The only way that we stopped these addictions was when we would get caught by her parents, my parents, or the police. That did not show us how to stop an addiction, though. Years ago, I was in a bad marriage and I got a lump settlement. My husband talked me into buying cocaine. The plan was to sell it and earn money back from it. That did not happen. I did not realize that he was already addicted to cocaine. He got me to try some and I was addicted. I did the drug for a week or so and then began to cook it, making it into crack cocaine. I was hooked and there was no way to go back and stop. After spending every bit of money that I had, selling nearly everything that I owned to pawn shops, and getting evicted because I did not have any rent money, and after losing many pounds of weight, I decided that enough was enough. Yeah, after all that, I decided this. I wish I would have decided it right away. The whole time I did the drug addiction scenes, finding it, partying with those who did it, and hiding from the world, I must say that I did not enjoy one single bit of it. It was the worst experience I ever had. Yet, I did it, because for those few seconds that I was high, it was a good feeling, but it only lasts a few seconds and then I would need more. It is a constant chase for a high that will never last. I was spending all my money and I was killing myself. I left everything else and everyone behind and I went to a wonderful drug addiction home and signed in for the stay. Most of them are 30 days long. Once I decided that I did not want to live my life in this state and that life was worth so much more, I could do what they suggested and start to figure out why I did it, heal from things from the past, and learn how to live without such an addiction. The first thing I realized was that I needed to build up my self esteem. I needed to figure out where and why I hurt, emotionally, and I needed to let the professionals at the rehabilitation center help me. I needed to listen to them and do whatever they suggested. I needed to stay for the whole program and then do what they said to do when I left there. The recommendations are to go to NA or AA. They are not the same, but the concepts are the same. I needed to go to at least 5 meeting each week and get involved in the meetings, and find a sponsor. The rule about sponsors is that a woman chooses a woman to sponsor her and a man chooses a man to sponsor him. Men stick with the men and women stick with the women. Because I finished the rehabilitation program and followed up with going to meetings, I have been clean for 13 years. It was one of the best choices I made. There are great programs out there to help people with addictions.