The Cycle of Self-Harm : What Can We Do To Help?

Figures released recently report an increase of a third in cases of self-harm in the UK over the past five years.  In England alone there were 97,871 cases of hospital admission for deliberate self-injury in 2007-08.  Extrapolate that into countries like America and Australia and it can threaten to reach epidemic like proportions.

New research from the World Health Organisation reveals that the growing gap between rich and poor has let to ‘an increase in mental health problems including depression and self-harm in countries like the UK and US’.

There are many misconceptions about self-harm/self-injury. This brief article  will explain what it is, how to help and where to go for more information.

What is Self-Injury?

Self-injury is defined as the act of deliberately injuring oneself, through a variety of ways but most commonly cutting.   It is an act carried out mainly to relieve distressing emotions and is actually a coping mechanism which may come as a surprise. 

A self-harmer will usually, but not always, have experienced traumatic emotional situations in their childhood or as a young adult, from abandonment, emotional or physical abuse or may possibly have lost a parent.

Cycle of Self-Harm

The cycle of self-harm has been described in the following stages:-

Mental Anguish

When a situation, or a series of situations or memories, triggers extreme distress and an inner panic begins.

Emotional Engulfment

The panic soon becomes a tidal wave or emotion and pain.  There is an overwhelming feeling of an inability to cope which becomes too much to bare, building to sense of insanity, like being on the edge of a total emotional breakdown.

Panic Stations   

A growing need to relieve the distress takes hold as the extreme emotions grow out of control.  The only way to relieve this for people in this situation is by the act of self-harm.

Action Stations

This is the actual act of self-harm which can include cutting, head-banging and punching amongst other things.   Many self-harmers report no sense of pain while actually carrying out the injury.  The actual act can be an opiate and the overwhelming sensation immediately after one of numbness coupled with relief.

Feel Better

The harm has been carried out and many report a sense of nothingness and relief.  The distress has been alleviated for the time being.

The Grief Reaction

Once the initial relief has subsided, the grief reaction sets in.  The individual has only resolved things temporarily and the underlying issues remain.  A sense of shame and self-loathing can take over.  The perpetual cycle of distress starts again as the grief turns to anguish.

What Can You Do to Help?

If you suspect someone you know is self harming, please whatever you do be gentle.  Talk to them gently and reassure them that what they are going through is natural and you will do everything you can to help.

Don’t judge them, self-harm can happen to anyone at anytime, we all have bad times in our life.   Depending on our experiences some are less well equipped to cope and should be treated with love and reassurance.

Get them to talk to someone professional.  There is no quick fix and you won’t cure things overnight but it will be a start.   The carer will also need counselling as this will be a stressful time for everyone but the sooner the healing process begins the better.