Grief: Dealing, Coping and Overcoming

Grief is something that everyone will experience at one time or another during their lifetime. When a person experiences the loss of someone they love, either through divorce or death, they are forced to deal with grief. When a loss occurs, most of us are unprepared for how to handle it, especially if we have never had to deal with it before. Even if we have, it is still traumatic each time. It has been observed that through the many feelings associated with grief, five stands out more so than others as a commonality amongst grievers.

5 Stages of Grief
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Even though this is one of the hardest times in a person’s life emotionally, there are many ways that they can over come these feelings and continue on living a prosperous life. One way that helps a lot of people in their time of grief is to be organized. Any additional stress can worsen grief to an individual and/or family. Making sure final preparations for you loved ones are in order such as burial or final wills and testaments will ease tension and may not calm your grieving heart but will definitely help in the healing process. Not only dealing with the remaining possessions and responsibilities of your lost one but also realizing that even though they are gone, you are still here and able to complete your journey of life.

Part of the process of dealing with grief is to organize yourself over all and start to identify the procedures that compose your daily life so that you can begin to have more of a choice about when and how you grieve. This stops sad thoughts and recollections constantly interrupting your day to day life and means, in a way, that the grieving you do is more concentrated and ‘pure’ but less pervasive and disturbing. To truly remember someone is a great act of appreciation and respect and to go on and truly live your life can be an act of respectful remembrance.

Dealing with grief means accepting your feelings and expressing them. Talk to someone you trust who listens without trying to fix you. If you can, cry when and where you need to and try not to worry about what other people think. It might surprise you that the strangers around you might be grieving too and will totally understand. Taking time for you, reading, remembering, writing, look at pictures, thinking about your day, drawing, painting, running, or soaking in a tub are great ways and small steps. Eat healthy food. Your mental health is affected by your physical health. Drugs and alcohol misuse will only deaden and prolong the pain when grieving. It will still be there after the effects of the drugs wear off.

Rest as much as you need to. Don't do any activity you or others think you should do if you don't have the energy. Short naps may help. Through it all this is a time of reflection and relaxation, know that things will not always be this bad and it is just a milestone for you to pass. As time pass you will be able to visit graves if applicable and/or place a memorial in there honor and memory. Small gestures and places where you can gather with fellow loved ones and reminisce on past events that you all have shared.