It's Okay To Fail

If you've never failed, how will you know when you're a success?

I was always top of the class at primary school. It seemed my natural place was at the top. I wasn't a swot, mind. Just naturally brilliant! I became the first pupil of that school to pass the eleven plus exam (don't worry – it's history) in decades, and I was only aged 10!

At grammar school, I found I wasn't quite so clever. No longer did I shine effortlessly. But I still wasn't a swot! So from the age of 10 until 13 I sank inexorably from the 'A' stream to the 'D' stream.
Then we moved and I went to a new school. It was much smaller. They only had two streams – 'A' and 'B'. Naturally I was put into the 'B' stream. Suddenly, I was top of the class again! Naturally brilliant once more! And still not a swot! I was transferred to the 'A' stream. Now I settled towards the lower end of the top third.

But there were compensations. I was suddenly a sporting hero! The school had just recently changed its winter sport from soccer to rugby. And I had transferred from a rugby-playing school! I knew how to play this game! At the age of 14 I was in the school first team! And what a first team it was! Our pack was so heavy that we pushed every other team off the ball. We won game after game. Great to be back on top.

Academically though, I was still only a little above average. I grew to dislike school. I didn't want to work and without work could see I was never going to regain my natural position at the top.

I became passionate about wanting to join the RAF as a pilot. There were many war films around at the time and I fancied myself as a Douglas Bader (with legs) or a Guy Gibson of the Dam Busters. But I was blind as a bat! I even failed the RAF scholarship selection board – not entirely because of my eyes, I suspect.
But I still nurtured ambitions in that direction so, when I collected my handful of GCE passes, I stayed on into the sixth form. The science sixth, naturally as I still wanted to fly.

Suddenly I realised I had made a dreadful mistake! I didn't understand what the teachers were talking about! Calculus, pure and applied maths, physics. It was all gibberish! I had to get out of there! Not only was I not at the top where I belonged – I was drowning in a sea of incomprehensible jargon. I was a total failure!!

My previous slips from the pedestal I had erected for myself were as nothing compared to this plunge into the abyss!

I knew my parents would never agree to me leaving school. They wanted me to be educated properly. 'A' levels, university, a proper career.

I suddenly became fascinated by quantity surveying. Where that came from, heaven knows. But I realised that the next best thing to university, in their eyes, would be to enter a recognised profession. This was the only one I could come up with that did not require me to get 'A' levels or a degree before I embarked upon it.

Somehow I convinced them that I really was interested and together we set out to find a suitable firm to which I could become articled as a pupil.
We found one. I was released from school! God was back in his heaven and all was well again.
Except that I was once more expected to study. And, being the only pupil now, the boss could keep a watchful eye on me and make sure I worked. Well, he could try. But remember I was naturally brilliant so I did just enough to keep him happy.

Which was not quite enough to get me through the exams.

So I left and embarked on a series of jobs that kept me in beer and cigarettes for the next nine years or so.

By now I was twenty-seven and in the computer business. Eventually I found myself holding the lofty post of marketing director in a very successful consultancy firm. We had three offices in England and a further Swiss office to handle our business in France, Holland, Germany, Austria and South America. Journalists hung on my words; The Times published my letters. I was back where I belonged – on top!
It did not last, of course. Over the next thirty years my life became a roller coaster of success and failure. From computers I moved into insurance. From insurance to photography. Photography to taxis. Eventually back to computers. I'd be at the top and then plunge to new depths as company or personal disaster overtook me.

I married, divorced. Tried again.

Went from flats to houses to bigger houses to rented rooms and back. Drove Mercedes and Lada, Jaguar and Skoda. Rolls-Royce and 2CV.

My point is that it is not merely okay to fail. It is necessary! The point is it is only by comparison with the lows that you really appreciate the highs. The point is; if you have always been at the top, 'naturally brilliant', you'll never understand what others – like your friends and colleagues – go through.

If you have followed a well-worn career path from school to now, you haven't lived! And you probably haven't taken any risks either.

And wherever you are – things can be better. But, in order to progress, you must embrace the possibility (the inevitability!) of failure. Or should I say 'feedback'? (I think it was Anthony Robbins who said there is no such thing as failure, only feedback.)

One way to move on is by networking. Whatever you want from life is available but, as Martin Rutte has pointed out, 'You have to do it by yourself and you can't do it alone'. So why not find the people who can help you? If you need some help finding 'em, take a look at Networkaholics!

As for me, things seem to be pretty good – for now. I'm doing what I love to do and I'm being very well rewarded for doing it. God knows how long it will last!