Notes from The Blonde Experiment: Releasing Self Concept to Find Freedom

| Posted: 17-05-2008 | Comments: 0 | Views: 21 | Rating: (69)

(?)

The experiment began in a circle of spiritual warriors. The question I posed to the group was: "What mask or persona would be the most difficult for you to step into? What image would you never want to portray? Whom do you most judge outside of yourself?"

From an independent, rebellious, struggling artist, I heard, "Become a business person; wear a suit and tie everyday and have a lot of money." From a butch, comfortably masculine lesbian it was, "Shave my legs and wear dresses and makeup." A successful businesswoman replied, "Be a street person, unkempt and dirty." My answer was, "Be a stereotypical ditzy, sexy blonde."

My image of myself as a serious, aware spiritual teacher did not jive with things culturally deemed blonde: silly, sexy, playful, seductive. The mere thought of this energy associated with me made me tremble. In my own mind I was graceful, intelligent, thoughtful, compassionate, trustworthy, and comforting. With my long brown hair and slightly baggy clothes, I felt safe and acceptable.

It was a dangerous comfort, I realized. Any time we settle into our masks, no matter how good we believe they look, we deny another part of ourselves. I had shattered masks before, and knew the tremendous energy we gain when we walk straight into our fears with open eyes.

Many years ago, I moved from a dilapidated, no-running water trailer in the middle of a huge horse ranch to a tiny apartment in Hong Kong. This towering apartment complex, were I lived with my parents, housed at least ten times as many people as the town I had left. My goal: to shape shift from a young, politically active, independent rebel to a mature, hardworking businesswoman. It was just for the summer, mind you. I wanted to pay off my debt, and I was curious if I could pull this undercover operation off. I recognized that I held myself out of the mainstream world for fear of losing my center, of somehow being assimilated. And I knew that the only way out was through.

On the plane to Hong Kong I started a list of all the people I remembered interacting with over the previous twelve years in my college town: my dearest friends, lovers, teachers, students, acquaintances, even people whose names I had long forgotten. Over four hundred names filled my journal when I finished the list. Somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, I started recapitulating from the top of my list. One by one I sent love and gratitude to each person, breathing back any energy I had lost, releasing any energy I had taken on. When I landed fifteen hours later, I was ready to create a new dream.

I shaved my legs, cut my hair, borrowed a couple of my sister's business suits, and landed a job reconciling stocks and bonds at Lehman Brothers Investment Corporation. I knew nothing about stocks and bonds. I felt funny wearing a suit. But I was determined to commit to this new mask I so feared. I worked 12-17 hours a day, often grabbing lunch and dinner at McDonalds. I loved it. I felt freed from my past. I returned to the United States with a new confidence and sense of unlimited possibilities.

Over ten years later, on another major experiment, I went blonde. My mission: to once again shatter my limited self-concept and step willingly into what I judged the most. It took me months to build up my nerve, to go against the fears and agreements: "It will ruin my hair. I have a new group of apprentices coming in; I can't be blonde and sexy. It is not necessary, anyway." But once I felt the fear, it was too late; I knew had to do it.

The transformation took seven hours, as my hair went from brown, to pink-orange, and finally to platinum blonde. I drove back from the hairdresser, magically drawn to the glowing golden fields of oat straw in the sun outside my window. I felt filled with golden light, my blonde hair communing with all things gold and filling every cell in my body with sunlight. The secret mystical life of the very blonde was rapturous at times. Sunlight, golden hills, and long gold hair opened me to a new level of awareness and deep connection with honey gold internal light.

But more times than not during the blonde experiment I cringed when I looked in the mirror at my new self. I felt self-conscious. I felt fake, too sensuous, too loud. I wanted to be quiet and respectable again. And yet as I continued to watch the fears and doubts and judgments that came up, I reminded myself: "It does not matter what the outside looks like, how people perceive you. All that matters is your own self-love, your connection to the divine, your connection to the wisdom of the natural world."

The results of the experiment were fabulous: unexpected mystical connection; unlinking my need for approval on levels I wasn't even aware of; heartfelt smiles for dolled up, Hollywood-like fake blondes whom I once judged fiercely; a new sense of playfulness and silly joy; release of my need to be seen as a respectful spiritual teacher; and coming into my true nature, stepping more fully into living from the inside out, not from the outside in.

I have reclaimed my inner blonde.

Rate this Article:

Current: 0 / 5 stars - 0 vote(s).

Article Tags: Experiment, Transformation, Mystical

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/motivational-articles/notes-from-the-blonde-experiment-releasing-self-concept-to-find-freedom-417701.html

Print article

Send to friend

Publish this Article

Author feedback

About the Author:

Heather Ash Amara weaves powerful practices of shamanic traditions to help people reach their potential. She apprenticed and taught extensively with Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements. She wrote Four Elements of Change and founded the Toltec Center for Creative Intent. She runs Spiritual Integrity Coaching with Raven Smith. Read more bold experiments from Heather Ash.

Submitting articles has become one of the most popular means of generating quality backlinks and targeted traffic to your website. Join us today - It's Free!

Article Comments

Add new Comment

Dare to Experiment With your Ideas...and Reap the Rewards That Come With it
By: Ron Balagot | 04/03/2007 | Self Improvement
An excellent quality you\'ll want to develop in yourself, if you want to experience more fulfillment in life, is the willingness or courage to experiment.

My Dad
By: David B Smith | 10/05/2007 | Religion
Bruce Leslie Smith 1932-2001 Who was he – my dad? He was my dad, but he belonged to many people beyond myself, and to God most of all.

Embracing G-d
By: Shifra Hendrie | 29/12/2005 | Religion
In this physical world we often feel that our possessions - our status, our jobs, our homes - are what provide us with the security we so crave. But that is an illusion. Part of our mission in these unique times is to recognize the truth - that all securi

Beat the Survival Game and Meet the Higher Needs of Self Actualization
By: Thomas Digges | 04/11/2006 | Coaching
Describes the higher needs of self actualization and the state of self actualization. Offers methods to overcome the obstacles.

33 Self-affirmations to Lift your Spirits Up (part 2)
By: Allan Heng | 18/03/2007 | Self Improvement
Successful individuals often say positive things about themselves, constantly rejuvenating their souls and self confidence. They realized by having daily self affirmations about themselves, they can better take on the world, deter the negativity that surrounds them.

Create the Change you Want to Become
By: Joan Marie Whelan | 13/08/2007 | Meditation
There have been many an individual who gave up on living, and subsequently died. Not because they wanted to die, but because they stopped living. One can literally “will” himself toward sometimes incredible changes – both negative and positive.

A Difference in Prayer
By: Susan Rissel | 22/11/2007 | Meditation
What is the difference between meditation and prayer and how does it affect the believer?

10 Simple Rules for Successful ERP Projects
By: Jose Allan Tan | 02/02/2008 | Software
Up to 75 percent of all ERP projects fail and failure is often ignored until the consultants leave building. The blame does not entirely rests on the hands of those in charge of integrating the solution into the existing business process. Everyone is to blame, including senior management, for failing to realize that ERP requires an enterprise-wide transformational change.

Got a Question? Ask.

Ask the community a question about this article:

Q&A Powered by:

Latest Motivational Articles

How to Cure Shyness Fast-shyness Cure Will Save Your Social Life!
By: Valeri Tkatchenko | 29/08/2008
I was a shy individual and found some ways how to cure shyness once and for all so i decided to share my shyness cure tips with others, please read this as it can help save your social life!

Increase Success In Life By Increasing Quality
By: Don Dewsnap | 29/08/2008
The easiest way to do better in life is to do better overall. Small, simple actions can increase the quality of whatever you do. Doing things better generally increases success.

Abundant or Redundant: Where do You Live?
By: Ken Donaldson | 28/08/2008
Abundance...this word has become quite popular these days as one of the latest "metaphysical buzzwords". "Creating abundance", "manifesting abundance", and "living the abundant life" are just a few of the abundance of abundant cliches these days. All of these sayings are trying to convince us that this abundant Life is just out there waiting for us to step into it.

Mastering Your Mind Power: How to Subdue Tail Enders
By: Harold L Lowe | 28/08/2008
Tail enders should be subdued the instant they emerge. To subdue them requires the use of effective tools. The number one tool for me is a loose fitting rubber band.

This Is No Secret
By: Joy Kapur | 27/08/2008
How to design a great, heart-based lifestyle that creates balance & harmony in your life & gives you complete control of every aspect of your life.

Steps to Change
By: Tandiwe Dziya | 27/08/2008
This article explores the principles of change. It looks at what motivates the need to change and some fifteen principles that may be pivotal to effecting change. It recognises that there may be slight variations in our attaining of our vision but the basic principles to bringing about change remain the same.

Learning Chess: Through Personal Development Training - Pt 1
By: Mason Bolton | 27/08/2008
If we improve our own psychology - we will improve our chess play - but the question then becomes - how to make such an improvement? This series of four articles will attempt to take the reader on a logical journey toward utilizing the tools of personal development to build a strong chess game.

The Winner in You for Life..
By: Ralph Henry | 27/08/2008
You were born a Champion... I would like to share with you how one moment in your life, be it an article, a person, an incident or just a thought or dream can change your life forever. Let me share with you the revelations that...

More from Heather Ash Amara

The Ocean of Mind: How to Redirect Your Mental Energy, Find Stillness and Peace
By: Heather Ash Amara | 17/05/2008 | Stress Management
How can I stop my mind? Instead of focusing on stopping the activity of the mind, I encourage people to redirect the energy of their mind to help them gain, rather than deplete energy.

Awaken Your Creative Intent
By: Heather Ash Amara | 27/04/2008 | Motivational
Creative intent: the catalyst for internal alchemy; your ability to find new ways of moving past obstacles while staying focused on your final goal.

Toltec Wisdom: The Energy of Agreements and How to Live Life in Love
By: Heather Ash Amara | 26/04/2008 | Religion
Core agreements made from a place of fear and scarcity limit our expression of our essential light and love. Learn from the wisdom of the Toltec how some agreements sap our energy, and how to make new ones that allow you to shine your best self in the world.

Live As Though You Were Dying: Call in the Angel of Death for Fun and Profit
By: Heather Ash Amara | 27/03/2008 | Motivational
Use Toltec Wisdom to view death as a cherished, loving force of nature. Get motivated to savor your magical life.

How to Take Action to Be and Live Your Authentic Self
By: Heather Ash Amara | 24/03/2008 | Advice
A concrete process to move towards your authentic self or integrity, for those times when you know something in your life is out and needs to change.

How See Through the Eyes of the Shaman and Align Yourself with Joy
By: Heather Ash Amara | 10/03/2008 | Religion
Perceive the world from an energetic standpoint, as shamans do. Reclaim the keys to healing and open yourself to deep connection with all life.

Celebrate Your Life: Infuse it with Joy and Spirit
By: Heather Ash Amara | 27/02/2008 | Advice
Celebrate the many transitions in your life, from difficult to ecstatic. Weave a thread of spirit into everything you do. Be in the present moment with your full, conscious attention.

Five Steps to Uncover and Clear Conflicting Internal Beliefs
By: Heather Ash Amara | 27/02/2008 | Advice
Learn to uncover and clear conflicting beliefs that make you confused and indecisive.

Article Categories

Article Marketing

Article Notepad

Stop Duplicate Content

Term Papers

Follow ArticlesBase at http://twitter.com

Need Help?

Sign up for our email newsletter

Receive updates, enter your email below

Use of this web site constitutes acceptance of the Terms Of Use and Privacy Policy | User published content is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
Copyright © 2005-2008 Free Articles by ArticlesBase.com, All rights reserved. (0.19, 17)

Notes from The Blonde Experiment: Releasing Self Concept to Find Freedom

Article Comments

Related Articles

Got a Question? Ask.

Latest Motivational Articles

More from Heather Ash Amara

Need Help?

Site Links

Webmasters

Business Info

Sign up for our email newsletter