 |
The Key to Genuine Happiness
Author: Jim DeSantis  | Posted: 10-01-2008 | Comments: 0 | Views: 6 | Rating: (50)  (?) 
 There are many people who are facing the same circumstances as you but they live fascinating and wonderful lives. How did their lives become so adorably sweet? How do they manage to laugh and play despite their circumstances?
The key to maintaining a happy attitude, no matter the circumstances, is simple. You've heard it said - "Love yourself, first." That's true enough but it's not the answer to our question. No, the answer is - "Like you, first.” That's right - Like You! Be your best friend.
Your real life best friend likes who you are right now with all your imperfections, quirks, and circumstances. For true happiness, you must become your best friend before you can begin to love yourself. Loving yourself means not doing things that will hurt you in some way. You'll never get me bungee jumping or skydiving because I love this body I live in!
You may also have heard it said - “loving means accepting.” Change this to - "liking means accepting." To like yourself, and others, means to realize that we are not perfect beings. You will never be perfect no matter how long you walk this earth. No one living today are perfect. No, not anyone!
Liking yourself means developing an attitude of genuine contentment. When you accept your current job, accept the way you look, accept your family, accept your friends, your home, your car, and all the material things you now have – truly, you know what genuine contentment is. You have begun to love yourself and be genuinely happy.
An unhappy person never accepts the good in their circumstances because they are always comparing themselves to someone who seems to have what they think they are lacking. This is an exercise in "stinkin’ thinkin’." They see themselves as unlucky and as a failure in life. They don't like themselves.
You will never like yourself if you compare yourself to other people. If you keep questioning life like it has never done you any good or that you are a failure, you will never be able to find genuine happiness. So . . .
1) Snap out of it!
2) Stop the comparisons! Stop seeing others as better off than you are or more intelligent than you are! You really have no idea of the details of their lives so your comparison is flawed from the start. You simply do not have enough information to make a comparison.
3) Stop the expectations! Stop placing unreasonable expectations on yourself and others based upon false information. Are you a glutton for self-punishment?
4) Get over yourself! You'll never be perfect, remember?
Life can be the greatest game. Go at it with gusto. It's about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, wining and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. These are as necessary as air is to living. These are your teachers. Embrace them with enthusiasm.
Is anyone genuinely happy in spite of life's trials and tribulations or are they just acting like they are? Here again we are making comparisons.
Does it matter to you if anyone else is truly happy? No, it doesn't, at this point. You see, you need to get yourself in line with life before you can worry about anyone else. You need to focus on YOU!
You need to focus on improving how you feel about the quality of you own life and your inner being. It starts and ends within YOU!
Here is a revealing exercise.
Start each day with a blank sheet of paper divided into two columns. Label one column - "Positive Stuff,” label the other column - "Negative Stuff.” At the end of each day write down as many positives and negatives that you experienced that day. Write down only those that really stick out. Now, study your lists.
This exercise will reveal just where your attitude needs to change toward all the things in life that you confront each day. As you examine your list, ask yourself two questions:
1) "Why do I feel that's positive?"
2) "Why do I feel that's negative?"
Now, examine your inner definitions of what's positive and what's negative. You decided what's positive and what's negative by using your expectations of how you believe you should have handled what the world threw at you that day, right? The key to finding contentment and genuine happiness is to change your definitions, the way you evaluate how you handle life. But, how do you change your definitions and begin to become genuinely happy?
Everyone has a personal definition of "happiness." Happiness for a writer may mean having a first novel published. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean five dollars handed to him by a generous passerby. Happiness for a businessman may mean a 5% profit margin. But all those are temporary. All those exist in a moment in time.
Would the writer be content with having only a single article published? Would the rookie be content to just enjoy playing the game? Would the beggar be content with just one dollars? Would the businessman be content with a 2% profit margin? Contentment is knowing that current circumstances change minute-by-minute, day-to-day, realizing that "every day above ground is a good day!" Simple.
So, how do you become genuinely happy? Realize that your happiness does not depend upon having the best things in this world. It’s about doing and making the best out of every single thing you have. Smiling at your own mistakes and telling yourself - “Oh, I’ll do better next time” - is a powerful mental tool that you can use anytime the situation calls for it. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try, a willingness that will make you a genuinely happy person.
When you learn to like yourself by accepting your faults, you have begun the journey toward becoming genuinely happy. By accepting yourself first, you will be more accepting of others. You will see life as a great and fun game in which to play. You will accept your wins and your losses with equally positive enthusiasm because it really makes no difference to your inner self.
Let me leave you with one more thought - Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pain. But most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughing at your own mistakes and foibles. Laughing at yourself will truly set you free to live life with genuine happiness.
Yours for success!
Jim DeSantis
Rate this Article:
Current: 0 / 5 stars - 0 vote(s).
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/motivational-articles/the-key-to-genuine-happiness-301227.html
About the Author:Jim DeSantis is a retired broadcast journalist who edits the Health & Fitness website. Shape your future by applying the simple steps to a healthy lifestyle you will find at Jim's Health & Fitness Guide or visit Jim's Abundance blog.
|
Submitting articles has become one of the most popular means of generating quality backlinks and targeted traffic to your website. Join us today - It's Free! |
|
Related Articles
The Eight Keys of Creative Leaders
By: Muath Daraghmeh | 19/02/2006 | Motivational
If you have the desire and willpower, you can become an excellent leader. Leaders develop through a never ending process of education, self-study, training, and practice. This article will help you through that process.
Excellent Strategies for Dealing With Difficult People
By: Muath Daraghmeh | 29/06/2007 | Self Improvement
Difficult people can make your life less enjoyable. With the right strategies, you can learn to deal with them effectively. In this article you will find some wonderful methods on how to deal with those people who insist on being difficult…
Never Look for a Job; Build a Career
By: Muath Daraghmeh | 20/08/2006 | Careers
A career, as does a journey, needs a destination - and a plan for getting there - to be satisfying. Read this article to discover how to keep your skills up to date and take control of your own career destiny.
5 Tips To Increase Your Personal Power
By: Christopher Green | 02/11/2005 | Self Help
Become an empowered, undtopppable force!
Rising Above Mediocrity Today
By: Patric Chan | 10/12/2007 | Self Improvement
Sometimes going the extra mile can make all the difference between being just plain average and excelling.
By: | 31/12/1969 |
Setting Personal Goals: What Are Your Resolutions For The New Year?
By: Deanna Mascle | 26/12/2006 | Self Help
Are you thinking about setting your personal goals? What are your resolutions for the new year?
This is a busy time of year. Personally and socially there are cards to send, gifts to buy, and parties to attend. Professionally there are reviews, audits, and projects to wrap up before the years...
The Truth About Helping Others in the Law of Attraction
By: Beth & Lee McCain | 24/04/2008 | Self Improvement
You might think that by helping others, it is helping you demonstrate how to apply the Law of Attraction through compassion and gratitude.
Got a Question? Ask.
Ask the community a question about this article:
Frequently Asked Questions
Painful Depression
By: dmorey | 22-07-2008
I have severe depression, when I get depressed I feel it all in my chest, its very painful. is this normal?
Can i take hrt whilst useing the depo injection
By: kim | 22-07-2008
can i take hrt whilst useing the depo injection
Accepting an apology.
By: bj | 22-07-2008
My 60 year old sister in law told my 25 year old son that he was conceived before marriage. She shared this with him during a social event, giggling and covering her mouth as if she just told a dirty secret.
He was embarrassed and humiliated. He does not understand why she used that forum to share this with him. Our relationship is solid and unaffected by her act.
She has sent me a letter of apology and I am struggling with the acceptance. I believe she is sorry. I know I must forgive.
What is my next step as far as my response. How do I do this?
Friendship triangle- confidentiality and infidelity
By: lilly | 22-07-2008
I have just found myself in a horrible friendship triangle.
A friend of mine has just confessed to me that she has recently been involved on a couple of occassions, with our mutual friends boyfriend which she says she is 'in love' with. Unfortunately it's not quite a black and white situation. While he is in one country, his girlfriend has been in another country for the last year and their 3 year relationship is and always has been pretty messy. It's kind of an on again off again kind of thing. The two of the them can't get their act together. She (the girlfriend) has told me in confidence on some occassions that she loves him but other times that she thinks the relationship will never work, that he is not the right one for her and sometimes she is even looking for an excuse to break up with him. He possibly thinks the same, but they talk about the potential of travelling to a third country together, and he says he loves her, is addicted to her and talks about possibly marrying her. The problem for me is that since i now know that he has been with my other friend, i have found myself stuck in the middle. A part of me wants to be a support to my friend that is 'in love', as she is very upset and distressed by this whole situation, but i don't want any consequences from my knowledge. Fyi, she has actually also removed herself from the country, so this cheating isn't going to go on any longer for now at least. She has apologised to me for the situation she has put me in which i accept, but when i found out that she told the guy, that i knew about them, i became quite angry. This girl has a very bad track record for keeping confidentiality, and i did not want either of them unnecessarily slipping to our mutual friend (the girlfriend) that i knew about this as the fact that i held onto a secret could potentially jeopardise my friendship with her. I said a few harsh words to my 'in love' friend that i deeply regret, but she disagrees with my requests as she says she is not the sort of person that could lie to someone. She has become very offended and upset that i flew off the handle, doesn't want to live through the big drama that she foresees and so has consequently decided to remove herself from the whole friendship circle. I am very upset that i have lost her as a friend.
What i want to know is, was it unreasonable that i ask that if this ever comes out, that she doesn't volunteer the information to our mutual friend that i ever knew anything? And secondly would it be unreasonable of me to request that if asked, that she does actually deny? I know this 2nd one would be deceitful, and i'm not sure how i feel about it myself, but i don't think it's fair for me to be involved, and i don't want to unneccessarily be in a position where my friendship with out mutual friend is in jeopardy. Having said that, I don't know if i was over-reacting especially considering that I don't have much contact with this mutual friend at the moment anyway. We have had a difficult relationship ourselves over the last couple of years. It is a little rocky as it is, she is overseas, has made little effort to keep contact with me over this last year which is a habbit of hers with everyone, probably will never come home, and possibly could break up with her boyfriend soon anyway. But down the track anything could happen, our relationship might get better and they could even get married, it could go either way.
To add another one to the mix, a few months ago, the girlfriend actually confided in me that she has been seeing other men overseas anyhow. Of course i have kept this confidential. I'm not sure if this is a test for herself to see how she feels about her boyfriend.
Regarding loyalty. I was hoping i didn't have to chose sides. Do i? I'm actually not sure who to be loyal to in this instance. Is it based on who is the best friend of mine at the moment?, who is suffering and needs my support most?, or who is 'technically' right? Do i really need to chose a side? Neither of these people are of callice nature, and want to hurt the other. They have just managed to find themselves in sticky situations.
At the end of the day i don't want to be involved in any of their messy relationships. I just want to keep my friends but am not sure how to do this. And unsure what compromises are reasonable for me to accept.
I find myself wavering regarding how i feel on the matter. I am confused, and am upset and offended that my friend has removed herself from me. She says this was never the outcome she intended and has acknowledged that it is probably selfish of her to do so, but is doing so anyhow because otherwise she will be eaten up internally by doing what the rest of us want her to do. If i had to chose a friend, it would possibly be my 'in love' friend because i have had the strongest relationship with her over the last couple of years. I want to try and save our friendship however she has proven to be quite volitile and if she cannot see reason with anything i say, and doesn't want to save our friendship, then i'm not sure i want to be friends with someone that cuts themselves off when they get hurt and hit a rough patch.
It would be appreciated if you could give your thoughts or give me some questions that i could ask myself to help me define how i feel about this and how i could approach it. Sorry for the long winded question.
Thank you
Abrupt end to long-standing therapy
By: MsDalt | 22-07-2008
I was in a 11 year, 2x a week, individual therapy with a psychiatrist that ended November 2007. Once I had expressed my desire to 'take a break' from therapy, the doctor abruptly ended our relationship, permenantly, in 4 days time. Is this normal? Should I have expected some form of resolution? I appreciate any input.
What is the difference between the medicines ...
By: manolis panagiotou | 22-07-2008
what is the difference between the medicines efexor and seroxat. is it advisable to change to efexor after a long use on seroxat. which of the two is the more toxic ;
Q&A Powered by: 
Latest Motivational Articles
4 Ways To Increase Your "Persistent Fitness Motivation" & Hit Your Goals
By: Dan Boyle | 25/07/2008
The secret to fitness success and sculpting a rock hard body with lines that show you are in control... is persistence. Persistence in action, in motivation, and persistence in thought.
Self Help Books Are A Boon
By: Roberto Sedycias | 25/07/2008
Self help books guide the individual to be his or her own teacher. It leads to empowerment of the self by the self in practically every field of development. Learn more.
Thought for the Day
By: Steve Gillman | 25/07/2008
A thought for the day - and all the says of the week.
Self Confidence- How to Improve it for Making More Money
By: CD Mohatta | 25/07/2008
Self-confidence and making money go together. Have you ever met a person of very low self-confidence making lots of money? No, because unless some one is confident about themselves they cannot make money. Do you wish to make lots of money? Increase your self-confidence with these easy steps.
If You Life Were Like A Song - What Would It Be?
By: Koz Huseyin | 24/07/2008
We all can think of our own lives as a song. Some are cheerful, some are successful, some are about love, and a multitude of differences. Some may find life is like many songs. The good thing about personal development is that if you are not happy with the song, you can change it!
Tips for Making Yourself Better
By: Justin Briggs | 24/07/2008
Self improvement advice on how one can overcome obstacles to improve their own live and be more successful.
Screensavers - How to Inspire yourself With Your Own Text
By: CD Mohatta | 24/07/2008
You have been using Screensavers till now. Did you know that you could interact with them? Yes, you can do that now. Do you wish to write your text and read it on a screensaver? You can change the text whenever you want.
Connection: the Secret to Happiness
By: Masami Sato | 24/07/2008
Why do we live? What are we here for? Day after day we ask these questions of the purpose and meaning of our lives. And most of us constantly look for the answer. How can we achieve happiness? This is yet another question urging us to look for its answer every day. What if the answer to those questions is simple? What if it is all simply about ONE thing? Connection. The secret of happiness is explained thoroughly in the clear and refreshing voice of Masami Sato in this excerpt of her book, ONE.
More from Jim DeSantis
The Secret to Gaining Weight
By: Jim DeSantis | 03/06/2008 | Men's Health
While many overweight people find it difficult to shed extra pounds, those who are underweight face their own challenges trying to keep each pound and add more. The good news for those trying to gain weight is that adding pounds can be simplified.
How to Avoid Being a Victim of the Liar
By: Jim DeSantis | 03/06/2008 | Dating
Although honesty is generally taught as the best policy, I would propose that it is the only policy to follow in 99% of cases. The other 1% could be called "white lies.” How are you to know the difference, that is, when someone is telling the whole truth as opposed to a white lie? Here are some tips that will help you spot a liar.
How to Catch an Unfaithful Mate in This Digital Age
By: Jim DeSantis | 01/06/2008 | Marriage
As a retired TV newsman, who has seen the rapid growth of technology from the inside, I am constantly amazed at how much easier it is to communicate with people these days. There is high-speed Internet connections (wireless & otherwise), Cellphones, texting, BlueTooth, Blackberry's, and the list goes on.
We can talk at the touch of a button, across cities, countries, the entire world. It all makes for cheating on a mate even easier than ever. But there are ways to find the truth.
The Google Ranking Secret That is Hiding in Plain Sight
By: Jim DeSantis | 30/05/2008 | SEO
Billions of people are surfing cyberspace, many of them wanting to spend money conveniently. If you have something to sell, how can you ensure they will find you before your competitors? The answer is simple - you need to make friends with the search engines and give the search engines what they want. The good news for you is, 95% of your competitors ignore this secret that is hidden in plain sight because it's too easy.
5 Smart Steps to Successful on Line Dating
By: Jim DeSantis | 29/05/2008 | Dating
On line dating was introduced to a mass audience with the 1998 film, "You've got mail!" This was, perhaps, the first movie to portray two people conducting a relationship entirely on line before meeting each other face-to-face. We, as a society, have come a long way with the introduction of high-tech cyber-dating.
Finding a Grown Up Guitar for Small Adult Hands
By: Jim DeSantis | 22/05/2008 | Music
When I played guitar in the 50's and 60's, I was limited by having small hands. There were certain tunes I could just not stretch to play. In those days a guitarist had to spend a couple thousand dollars for a custom made git with a short neck or resign themselves to a limited song list. That's not the case today!
Free Blues Guitar Lessons Can Give You the Blues
By: Jim DeSantis | 20/05/2008 | Education
As an old Rock N Roll guitar player myself, the first thing I found out, when looking for free blues guitar lessons on line was this: I had learned to play guitar based on some really bad habits. My fingering and picking were all wrong from the start. In effect, I didn't know how to play guitar correctly which made it more difficult to perform blues riffs.
Video to Web 101
By: Jim DeSantis | 07/04/2008 | Video
For Internet marketers, the most powerful aspect of video that has been invented in recent months is the software and know how to create video products. Yes, video that you could actually watch from your monitor screen. Video that is accompanied by audio commentaries, which seek to inform, teach, sell, and to entertain. But, how do you pull it off?
|
|
Self Improvement 
