Ken Keis, MBA, CPC, is an internationally known author, speaker, and consultant. He is President and CEO of CRG Consulting Resource Group International, Inc., Many professionals herald CRG as the Number One global resource center for Personal and Professional Development. For information on CRG Resources, please visit http://crgleader.com For information on Ken’s Training and Speaking Programs, please visit http://kenkeis.com
“You will know the truth and the truth shall set you free.”
John 8:32
Truth: The REAL state of things
Your life is a mirror of the way you live your truth and of your reality.
In our politically correct environment, everyone must like what everyone else is doing. We have replaced our truth with lies. That might sound harsh but, after all, this is an article on truth!
We have become conditioned to hold back the real truth in many situations. We hold our truth in. Stuffed into our minds and bodies, our truth clogs our entire systems, like a plugged fuel line to a motor — not operating at full potential — sputtering through life.
Think about this: Have you ever kept a significant truth inside or unstated for some time and when you finally let it out, you felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders?
When we lie, we falsely believe we are doing something beneficial to help the situation. We use excuses such as I don’t want to hurt their feelings, I don’t think they or I could handle the truth, the truth hurts so I won’t say anything.
Here are some examples where we are conditioned to not tell our truth.
· Your significant partner just left you; you feel like a truck just ran over you. Someone in the office asks you how you are doing; you respond: Fine! Hey, that’s not truth. You feel awful . . . with good reason . . . so be real!
· You are in a work situation; the boss asks if you like your job and the work environment. You say, Yes, it’s just fine, but you really don’t like the situation and you mislead your boss and yourself on the truth. You tell a lie.
· Let’s reverse the situation. Think of yourself in the role of boss. An employee asks you if you like his/her work. You say Yes, but you have an ad in next week’s paper, looking for a new employee. You have told the individual a lie.
· You go to dinner at the home of friends and the meal is just terrible. They ask you how you like the meal; you state It’s great . . . another lie. So the next time you visit there, the same food in on the table. After all, you approved it before; why not make it again?
· Your child has done something very poorly and knows it. He says to you, Isn’t that great? and you agree. Another falsehood.
· A telemarketer calls. You stay on the line not expressing your truth, which is I have no time for this.
· Someone asks you about your success. You exaggerate (lie) about your accomplishments to cover up insecurities, fear, or to get approval.
How have we digressed so far as to think that lies are more effective or powerful than the truth?
By the way, being truthful is different than being a whiner or a victim of your life and circumstances.
Interesting enough, many of these lies are directed toward ourselves; we deny our own truth. By doing so, we lower and give away our own personal purpose and energy. Truth is the difference between being authentic or fake ? real instead of phony. We have become sheep ready for slaughter and we have denied others our truth. This is a destructive behavior pattern.
Alert: Before you go out to tell everyone how you REALLY feel about them, there is a caveat. You must speak your truth with compassion — not only to others but to yourself.
This is not about hurting yourself and others; it’s about releasing what is true. Truth does and will set you free when done with a good heart. You will be stating facts — not releasing emotionally charged truths launched with arrows, blame, or vengeance.
Your truth should not be about being callous, judgmental, or putting someone/something down. It should simply be about the facts as you see them and about your truth.
Have you seen someone constantly lying (sucking up to) a person of stature and authority? What did you think of the person who was not being truthful? Did you wonder where else this person was living a lie? Could you deeply trust this person? If you are being honest, most likely not!
Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, identified that the most successful companies are brutally honest about their condition. They do not live on Fantasy Island but on truth. How can quality, purposeful decisions be made on false or untrue information? They can’t.
Finally, what about the individuals who are not truthful about the true condition of their lives — physical, financial, mental, spiritual, social, relationships, etc.? It’s time to be real about your life and to move forward from a position of truth and authenticity at all levels.
Yes, I have been guilty of not stating my truth in the past — of not being real. Looking back, I realize how much that modus operandi cost me in personal energy, relationships, business, and credibility. And I have also been truthful without compassion; my truth has ridden the emotions of revenge and anger. Neither of these approaches to the truth proves beneficial.
At this moment, I encourage everyone reading this article to achieve freedom by living and stating what’s true for you . . . not in an intense judgmental way, but in a calm, confident, grounded space. Make this commitment for everyone and everything ? you don’t get to pick and choose where you will be truthful. Be 100% authentic.
Be aware of the freedom and incredible feelings you experience as you more toward more and more truth in your life.
Action Steps for Living in Your Truth
1. Acknowledge there is no benefit in misleading yourself or others in lies.
2. Embrace the fact that your truth can set you free.
3. Speak your truth with compassion, not in judgment or anger.
4. Lying is often based on fear, the need for approval, or a lack of self-worth. Stop doing it now!
5. The more authentic you are, the more self-confidence you will exude and the more action you will take.
6. Think right now where in your life you are not being 100% truthful and authentic. Make a list of everything that comes up for you: When, Who, Where, How, What. If you are having difficulty thinking of instances, use the examples above to kick-start your process.
7. From your list, clarify and determine the truth for each of your scenarios. Be honest with yourself about your life conditions and your relationships.
8. Take action NOW! I suggest you start with the most difficult item on your list. That way, everything else will seem easy. Make sure you enter this process with compassion to yourself and others.
9. Pay attention to the mental release and energy you gain from your truth.
10. Become aware of day-to-day situations where you omit the truth or are not being authentic. Start changing your habits.
11. Ask for support and feedback from your family and friends.
12. Truth is strength and power. Tell the truth, and then watch how you attract more of what you want into your life.
Until next time, keep Living On Purpose.
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