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Working with Fear

Inevitability when people are attempting to chance their lives, they hit a wall of fear. When asked about it, they might say things like: I am afraid that I will be alone for the rest of my life, or what I want comes at too high of a price. Fear is a normal response to change. Instead of thinking that fear is a sign that you are doing something wrong try finding ways of acknowledging your fears and persisting in the face of them. If you are uncertain how to do that, try some of these ideas to how you respond to feeling fear. Fear can be sneaky. It can show up as confusion, anger, and apathy. Sometimes when asked if they are afraid, a person will not identify it as fear but instead as another emotion. Learn your own habits and this awareness will help you move forward.

What is at risk?
If you set a goal and then find that you are not moving towards it look for how you might be afraid of either achieving or not achieving the outcome. This question, which is frequently asked in shadowwork sessions, can also point to beliefs or contracts that a person made with himself, herself, or others. It means what is the perceived or emotional risk in moving forward.

Take care of yourself:
This step appears again and again when it comes to reaching our goals. It is based on the idea that we should not do harm to ourselves. If the situation feels risky find a way to give yourself some security. It is important that we stretch toward out goals and it is important that we don’t break.

How would you act if you were not afraid? This solution may sound a bit simplistic but it is also sometimes effective. If you do not have the answer to this question then look around for someone who seems like they might and try it on for size.

Keep you eye on your goal:
Fear can be a sign that you really want something. One way to find the strength to achieve you goal is to really lock in on how important it is to you. This can help you deal with the discomfort that fear instills.

Let it out: Tell someone who is supportive. For whatever reason, fear multiplies when we keep it inside. Let the people who are really supportive of you know how you are feeling and your fear may wane.

Kate Siner Francis PhD

If you are interested in learning more about me or my work, please visit my website www.largervisions.com. The website includes a comprehensive account of my background, and introduction to my work, articles, and archived newsletters. It offers an opportunity to sign up for a free introductory session and more information.

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