New Scifi Movie Idea for Hollywood: Humans Don’t Suck

Is it just me, or is anyone else getting tired of being told they’re horrible? Too many movies are using the undertone (or blatant accusations) that people are bad. We waste too much. We pollute too much. We fight too much. We don’t trust, tolerate, forgive, or love enough and on and on and on.

The latest movie I watched with a People Suck storyline was the remake of the classic scifi film, The Day the Earth Stood Still. Keanu Reeves is sure to win the Best Robot Oscar and little Jaden Smith is sure to get the Brat of the Year award. Needless to say, it didn’t do the original justice.

The movie had a clear anti-human message throughout as the human race proves to the alien emissary, Klaatu, that we’re terrible. First we shoot him, then we try to drug him, then that little punk Jaden Smith shows how awful we can be, then we try to shoot him again, then we try to blow him up. All the while the audience is subjected to anti-human propaganda clips of everyone freaking out all over the world.

So, here’s my pitch for Hollywood: The Day the Earth Stood Up. The premise is somewhat similar to The Day the Earth Stood Still (except the exact opposite):

An alien emissary lands in New York. After having studied humans (and Earth cinema) for a hundred years, the alien knows that we might shoot him, so he turns off all our weapons before he steps foot on the planet. He tells the world that we’re doing a good job waging war and improving our technologies, but we’re not in the big leagues yet.

You see, there are thousands of alien races across the galaxy, and just like the violence that occurs naturally throughout the universe (like black holes, supernovas, etc), advanced species like to fight and wage war. The alien explains that our technology and warfare is too primitive to be an asset in any confrontation, therefore the Earth is in an incubation stage, protected by an alien race that sees potential in our species. They believe that we have the strength, courage, and conviction to one day achieve great things.

Knowing that we will someday be part of an intergalactic conflict, we forget the petty squabbles between nations, unite, and together develop into a powerful force. Bam! Humans don’t suck after all!