The Two-Legged Workout Plan

This article is going to be about forming MY perfect workout plan. This plan will stand on two legs:

Right Leg- What other work out enthusiasts who take the time and the effort to write articles giving their knowledge earned by much sweat, fatigue and heavy breathing, say I should do to gain both size and strength, in a balanced and symmetrical way.

Left Leg- What I enjoy doing.

So, how am I going to leave out all the things I hate and focus on the things that I enjoy?

I hate working out more often than three days per week.

I hate working out legs, especially squats, but I know I'll look ridiculous with a well developed upper body, touted about on the pair of hockey sticks I call my legs.

I think cardio vascular exercise in a gym, or running around in circles on the streets of my hometown is a waste of time and valuable energy. I wouldn't be caught dead on a treadmill. What am I a hamster?

The same goes for exercise bikes, stair masters, etc.

I hate working out alone, but I don't have many friends, and the one's I have hate working out period. Maybe I should forego the physical training and focus on psychological improvements that may lead to making friends, and influencing people (to work out with me) -Nah

I hate not having an ass, so this plan better include some really effective glute exercises. I knew it was getting bad when it was tough to distinguish between my boxer briefs, and my slightly smaller 12 year old son's. I'm not too pleased now that I can finally tell the difference, he's 13 now, and his underwear is a little bigger.

I can't stand how quickly hard won gains in strength, and even worse for muscle size, are lost once I get off the weights for a few weeks, that always turns into a few months.

Benching and curling and punching a speed bag...These are a few of my favorite things

Whenever I think I'm going to start working out again after a long hiatus, the first thing I do is bench. I needed a physical therapist to fix me up from the damage I did from too many false start workouts. I would go down into the basement and do a good bench work out. No rows, no pull ups, nothing to counteract the one way pressing force involved with benching. this eventually weakened my back and pulled my shoulders inward to a point where in just a few months I had a pain in my back constantly, right between the shoulder blades. Oh, and about the shoulders pulling in,,,My wife would warn me constantly as we walked around together -fix your posture, you're walking like Shaggy (from Scooby-Doo) It took a good physical therapist about eight sessions to get rid of the pain and straighten me out- worth every penny,

So number one on my list is the bench. Yeah, I'll start with that, but then, I promise myself I will continue on with a complete systemic workout. Stay tuned for future articles that will include a compilation of expert advice that will structure the perfect workout, for ME - that avoids as much as possible the things I hate.