Love

All of us are lovers of love, are we not?

In the deepest recesses of our minds, in our most private thoughts, we all have secretly wondered: What is love? Where does it come from? Why does it appear and disappear? Can I get more of it!? And, the best question of all: What is True Love?

Believe it or not, I have a few answers.

Love is never far away. It is always close by, as love is an essential part of Nature and of being human.

The reason that love is one of the greatest mysteries of life ... the reason that it is hard to pin down and talk about, is that most of love exists behind the scenes. It resonates from a part of ourselves that is silent and incomprehensible. Love lives in the quietest part of our being.

It is fascinating to try and follow love back to its source.

A practical way to start is by focusing our attention on a single expression of love that is found in our normal lives: Can you remember receiving a loving glance from a friend? ... or hearing the tenderness in your lover's voice? Now, trace that outer expression of love back to where it came from and you enter an inner world of feelings and thoughts. As you follow those feelings back, back, back ... into the inner realm ... eventually they disappear.

You may think that your journey has come to an end, when you find yourself on the threshold of a world of silence. Indeed, many people who journey to this vast region of stillness believe it to be a void that is not worthy of further contemplation. But actually, they have traveled to the main gateway of the real home of Love as the greater part of Love exists behind the scenes ... in this world of deep silence.

In Truth, love is a silent, underground, formless ocean that flows in us ... always present, eternally patient. We can open ourselves to receive its graces, or construct barriers to stop its flow.

The idea that "love comes and goes" is the standard view today, but that's just how it looks on the surface. What really is coming and going -- what really is changing -- are our preferences and points of view which either turns-off or turns-on the harmony and love that radiates from the silent part of us. Love is always present and we can be open to it or not.

For instance, every loving couple have disagreements that stem from different preferences and points of view. Arguments erupt as each person becomes entrenched with their particular point of view. After going round-and-round with the disagreement, they reconcile and their relationship returns to its normal state of harmony. What has happened during the disagreement is not that Love went anywhere. Love remained at home (in the stillness and silence behind the scenes), but the couple denied their access to love as each proclaimed the brilliance of their opinions. Once the attention placed on their differences subsided, they then relaxed and let the love flow normally back into their presence.

What I'm trying to say is that Love does not go away. It is always a part of the fabric of human life, as well as a part of each individual.

One of my favorite, most beautiful sayings is: "Love begins in the body, but ends in the soul." There is a lot of truth in that.

A new love relationship often starts out with a special attraction to certain physical features and personality traits of your partner. That level of love is fun and produces fantastic experiences (this relates to the first part, i.e., "Love begins in the body").

But as people age and life goes on, everything changes. If love is primarily based on special outward features of the body and personality, then love will not be present as the features held so dear, fade away.

But remember, the main body of love is deep, eternally present, mostly silent, and part of our natural make-up. That love is present as we change, as our partner changes, and as life goes on. It is not dependent on the outward qualities of a partner, but is based in a personal, enduring, spiritual nature in which you've realized that your lover is essentially no different than yourself. This level of love is what is referred to in the last part of the phrase "Love begins in the body, but ends in the soul."

These might be new words to you, but through your own experiences you know that it is true. For instance, we all have had dear friends and family members that we've known for many, many years, perhaps decades, who have now passed away. If you look back at your love for them, you will see that you loved them long ago ... their body changed a lot through the years and you still loved them ... their personality and mental features changed too, and your love remained unbroken. Even years after they passed away, your love for them is still right here ... you love them right now!

How can that be? It is because the highest levels of love are eternal. Our bodies come and go, our points of view do also, but there is a level of love that is always present. Let us try not to make our ordinary preferences greater than love itself, as we never want love to fade away ... in ourselves or our relationships.

The kind of love that stays ... that is here over time, moment by moment, day after day, year after year ... and is even present after our loved ones are no longer here -- that love comes from the silence and stillness of Being, and is the highest form of love.

That love deserves to be called "True Love."