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How Do We End Illegal Immigration?

In the past few decades, our country has been besieged by a plethora of immigrants entering the United States under false pretense and without legal merit. These are what we refer to as illegal immigrants or aliens. Now even as you read the words, illegal immigrants, you doubtlessly think of Mexicans, right. Yet what I am referring to is ALL illegal immigrants and not just those flooding in from Central and South America. No, I am writing of ALL those who are coming in from countries all over the world.

Though billions of immigration enforcement dollars work to some degree we still cannot fully stop this stampede. Nor will we ever be able to fully block those who are intent upon entrance. There is just not enough manpower or money to cover every last inch of bordering land, air and sea. Safety in numbers is as true a statement today as the day it was first coined. So instead of trying to catch all of the foxes that are trying to get into the henhouse, why not remove the chickens? Now let me explain how we can completely stop the foxes or in this case, illegal immigration.

In concert with President Bush, all illegal immigrants must leave the United States within ninety days. This is where the President and I begin to differ on immigration. I submit that we will not expend another dime on hunting down illegal aliens after that ninety-day period. That is because after ninety days the enforcement of illegal immigrants will be turned over to the investigation of American employers who use illegal immigrants. In short, we will begin to act upon and enforce the employment laws that are already in place.

After the ninety-day period, any employer who is found to have illegal immigrants in their employ will be fined $10,000 per illegal and placed on probation for two years for each illegal found. They should not be incarcerated on the first offense. However, if they are caught employing an illegal a second time then the penalty will be grave. The second offense will result in a fine of $100,000 for each illegal in their employment and five years in prison with no parole. We must get serious if we are to stop illegal immigration.

Furthermore, their business and assets will be sold and the money generated from the sale will be used as an offset to enforcement costs. Additionally, there will be no bail allowed for their second offense of this crime. Therefore, if you are arrested for a second offense you had better be sure you have your harmonica with you because you will be staying in jail for quite some time.

Now what happens during the voluntary ninety-day relocation period? In order to insure that the illegal immigrants head back to where they came from we will need to remove all of the benefits that have been bestowed upon those who have violated our immigration laws. First, we act in accordance with the 14th Amendment when applying the law of citizenship. Despite what the supporters of illegal immigration claim, this Amendment should not allow for automatic citizenship for babies born here from illegal immigrants of foreign nations. So first off, we reclassify all illegal babies born on American soil to the status of their parents natural country of origin.

The illegal immigrants will no longer be allowed to send their children into our public schools. Nor will they be eligible for any government entitlements or other social programs. If they appear at any hospital or clinic with injuries or illness then they can be treated only after immigration officers have arrived to take them into custody for the purpose of deportation. The lone exception here would be life-threatening issues, which require immediate treatment. Yet the immigration authorities still must be notified even before this emergency treatment commences. Once all these measures are enacted, the illegal immigrants will depart on their own. If not, they will eventually be found anyway.

Once the illegal immigrants are back in their countries they can apply for entrance into the United States by way of work permits. They must list their experience and skills and other pertinent information. They must have some working knowledge and basic 6th grade understanding of the spoken and written English language. All schools will be directed toward teaching legal immigrant children the English language. There will be no more bi-lingual signs, voice mails or any other instruction in foreign languages because the English language will become the official language of the United States.

In order to enter the USA they and their dependents will submit to fingerprinting and photo identification and they will have to be matched or sponsored with an employer certified by the immigration services. They will also be required to report to Immigration Services on a monthly basis to ensure that they have not relocated out of state without authorization. Any felony conviction or repeated misdemeanor offenses of an illegal immigrant will result in deportation without the possibility of ever returning to the USA.

Those employers who wish to employ legal immigrants will have to be certified by the United States Immigration Services. They will have to list the employee skills they need and the amount of people wanted. They will have to list whether the employment is of a permanent or temporary nature. The most important aspect of employing immigrants will be that the employers will be responsible for providing an equal rate of starting pay and benefits as those of their employees who are American citizens. That will prevent the slave labor or poor wages that are currently employed by many in this country.

The certified employers will receive a listing of immigrant employment applicants so that they can choose whom they want to work for them. They will be required to submit quarterly evaluation reports to Immigration Services about their immigrant employees as well as any problems or incidences of a disciplinary nature. In addition, all immigrant employees will only receive hourly wages/overtime and never a salaried position as long as their status is alien. Once they become United States citizens then their employment future will be maintained under the laws and jurisdiction of the U.S. Department of Labor just as every other natural citizen.

Finally, each employer of three or more legal immigrants will help them choose one worker as an immigrant labor representative for the other workers. This labor rep will be responsible for submitting quarterly reports to the Immigration Service along with the employer report forms. He or she will also act as a liaison between management and the other immigrant workers.

If we are truly dedicated to securing and maintaining the American way, then we absolutely must get serious about it. We have to make certain that immigrants are fully deterred from entering this country without first being certified and authorized.

John Dejong

John DeJong is the lead creative designer for NotMeUSA. He has been writing humorous advertisements for over twenty-five years. All of the funny t-shirts, prescription pill bottles, and gag spray bottles were created by him. You can view these by visiting NotMeUSA.com

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