In the Lap of the Gods 9

 “We have lots of forms to fill out Stephen and lots of documents to sign and then we have to decide what to pack. We can only take the things we really need because we are only allowed so much below-deck luggage.” It was at times like this when things were overwhelming that Lily wondered if she were doing the right thing but deep down this strong women was determined to make a new start and give Stephen every chance of a new life. She felt, rather than knew, that she was on borrowed time.

The Foreign Office building was a stern structure set rigidly in the middle of the city. Dirty from years of smog, smoke and inner city traffic it was filled with matching dejected, sombre faced people rushing around with the efficiency of an ants’ nest, their only passport to commute this way was the all-important hand-held piece of paper.

“Morgan… Lily and Steve Alan! Are they here?” came a commanding voice. Struthers had a clipboard under his arm and looked over his aquiline nose at those seated in the foyer. Lily rose and, holding Stephen’s hand, walked behind Struthers into a small antechamber off the main entrance.

“It’s a little more private in here.” Afternoon sunlight tried its hardest to percolate through the grime of the upper windows, their security bars casting an ominous prison-like shadow on the threadbare carpet. “Take a seat please. Now I assume you are paying for this voyage to New Zealand and intend staying there permanently with your son?”

“Yes, my doctor recommended that I live in a better climate.”

“Well yes but you need a sponsor Mrs Morgan. Do you have one? This is a rather big step for a widow.” Lily swallowed hard. Was she making the right decision? Were the foxes on the run?

“Yes, a Mr and Mrs Marsh in Onehunga have agreed to put us up until I find a position,” she said firmly. Lily searched in her bag until she finally found the address in New Zealand.

“If you would like to fill in these forms within the next few days and get them back to me I’ll start the necessary process.”

The inseparable pair walked from the grimy office into the bruised sunlight and Lily squatted to Stephen’s height and said, “Well what do you think about that? We’re on our way I think,” and she gave him a hug. She had never felt more alive. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted and a new chapter could be started. They strolled down the cobbled pavement hand in hand without a care in the world.

“Mum why did he call our name backwards, and why did he call me Steve and not Stephen? I noticed he wrote that down wrongly on my form too.” Stephen looked up.

Lily hesitated and took a breath thinking hard about the answer she was about to give. She didn’t want to lie and she realised Stephen would find out eventually so she decided honesty was the best policy.

“I’ll tell you on the train home. We’ve just got time for an ice-cream!”

“Lemon ice! That’s my favourite!” stated Stephen with a skip.

“Okay, but we’ll have to get going or we’ll miss the underground!”

Distract him that’s what I’ll do, thought Lily and let her mind wander again about the adventure she was embarking on. A widow taking a nine-year-old half way round the world to a life of uncertainty. I must be crackers, she thought.

 “You said you’d tell me about it on the train and here we are!” said Stephen settling into his seat ready for an explanation. He looked expectantly at his Mother. Lily looked skywards as if for inspiration and launched.

“Well it was your Aunty Rose actually,” she said and began the story.

After giving birth during the night air raid Lily was exhausted as any new mother would be but while she was physically drained, emotionally she was charged. But even after six weeks she was still spending half the day in bed recuperating.

            “Rose I need to have Stephen registered soon but I’m not really up to travelling to the Borough Council. Do you think you could do it for me?”

            “Would they let me? After all I’m not the natural parent,” said Rose.

            “I’m sure they would. Supposing I was ill in hospital, then they would have to register the birth somehow.”

            “You’re right. I’ll take him tomorrow. You’re sure about the middle name aren’t you? Alan’s a bit stiff and ordinary if you ask me. Give him something fancy – Kingsford or Winston or something.”

            “Rose we’ve been over this and I want Alan.”

            “You realise his initials will spell SAM don’t you?”

            “Yes, but I think it might be nice as a chum’s nickname.”

            “What about, ‘Sam, Sam the dirty old man,

                                   Washed his face in the frying pan’,

Kids can be cruel you know.”

            “They won’t say that. Anyway his name is Stephen and that’s what I’ll call him all the time.”

Lily insisted Rose wrap Stephen up in his best before she was allowed out of the house. Rose couldn’t see what all the fuss was about.

            “Don’t you know there’s a war on?” she called, and could have bitten her tongue off as soon as it was out. But once it was out it just hung there suspended in the silence. “Oh shit! You know I didn’t mean it that way. Of course he needs to be dressed up, Fred would have wanted it wouldn’t he? Course he would.” Rose’s soft shoulders slumped even further. Would Lily never get over the hurt? Well not if you keep reminding her she won’t, she scolded herself.

Lily suddenly found it hard to swallow. Or even speak. She pivoted her head and pressed it hard into the pillow. Why did you do this to me God? I hate this war!

The clerk looked up from his papers. “Do you want it with a ‘v’ or do you want ‘step+hen’? Most people are opting for the modern ‘v’ nowadays. Saves it being shortened by his pals. I suppose you have to think of what the boy wants to be called when he’s grown up don’t you.” Rose bit her lip pondering over what would be best. She knew Lily wanted ‘ph’ but she thought it prissy and too old fashioned. Stephen needed to be a modern man, not common old Tom, Dick or Harry.

“ ‘V’ thank you!” stated Rose rebelliously, and as an after-thought added, “and don’t put an ‘n’ on the end either.” I may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. There it was done. “Steve Alan Morgan that’s a name to be proud of. Not too fancy but not too plain either,” said Rose looking down at Stephen who was already fast asleep and oblivious to the drastic name change that had taken place. She thought of changing the Alan but thought it might be pushing it a bit.

“You what?” exploded Lily, “You changed his name to Steve even after I expressly asked you to register him as Stephen? Oh how could you Rose? Not even an ‘n’.” Lily burst into tears and turned her head away on the pillow. “You knew I wanted Stephen. I just can’t believe it! I trusted you!”

“It’s only a little change,” tried Rose who was feeling decidedly guilty. “I think it will suit him fine when he grows up and it is rather modern,” she offered hoping it would placate her upset sister.

“Well, I insist we still call him Stephen as always,” muffled Lily from her pillow. “Just don’t tell anyone.”

            Lily slumped into the hard carriage seat. “And so it was, you see Aunty Rose made a mistake, and your official name is Steve.”

Thinking to himself, Stephen was secretly quite happy about the mix up. Even though he had grown up with the ‘ph’ name he was delighted to think that he actually had a modern name.

“You know Mum, I’ve never been called Sam!”

Lily just sighed, and then gave him a big smile.