JANE ROWAN is a survivor of childhood trauma and betrayal, and is passionate about sharing her healing experiences, including Inner Child work. Jane is the author of the booklet Caring for the Child Within--A Manual for Grownups , a concise, powerful guide to nurturing your Inner Child, available through her website. Her memoir-in-progress about her healing from sexual abuse is tentatively titled Writing on the Water.
Most of us are pretty well acquainted with the inner critic, the one who says (to me), “Your writing stinks. You’re not good enough. You’re not a loving person. You don’t have enough friends.” That inner critic voice is usually installed early in life and can sound remarkably like our parents.
It's the inner child who hears these voices, of course, because she is small and vulnerable. The inner child cringes and cowers when the critical voices come out. Lately, as I work on the ending of my memoir or recovery from incest, the critics are out in force, telling me I can’t put this out in the world—“It’s too personal. Too biased. Nobody wants to read it.”
When my critics come out, I write for my sanity. I spill out what they are saying, keeping writing without stopping, elaborating and filling it out until I get to the core, the meanest part. This is hard work. I ask where the voice came from—is it my mother’s familiar criticism, or my father’s, or perhaps a teacher’s voice?
Then I sit with my inner child and tell her, “Nope. It’s not that way. They used to get the final say, they criticized you like that. But now I believe you and I care for you. They don’t get to talk to you like that now.” I remind the child that these adults had their own hurts and limitations that made them small and sometimes cruel.
The inner child is engaged in an intimate and difficult wrestling match with the inner critic and needs all the help we can give. We need to push back against the old parental voices and install new supportive ones.
- Related Videos
- Related Articles
- Ask / Related Q&A
- Write Rite" - How to Write Creatively ('Here, There and Everywhere') and perhaps even have Inspirational Books Published
- 5 Easy Money Making Article Writing Creative Boosters
- Creative Writing Ideas – How to Write Creative Masterpieces
- How to Write Creative Emails
- I’m Writing as Fast as I Can
- SEO Article Writing 101
- The Creative Internet Writer online challenge
- Creative Writing Techniques
How To Write Memoirs - The Basic Principles
By: Trevor Johnson | 27/11/2009Many of us have at some stage of our lives thought about writing down our life experiences. But the idea often passes as quickly as it arrives. Most of us plainly don't know the basis principles of how to write memoirs.
THE VIBRANT SHADES OF VERMILLION
By: mamta | 27/11/2009The changes I underwent in life led me from a hatefulness to a strange fondness for the color red.. We always tend to relate colors with different moods and stages of our life..vibrant shades of vermillion brings about a few experiences that my heart encountered!
Random Things that Wake Me Up at Night
By: Kasan Groupe | 24/11/2009Title really says it all.
In Bible versus Quran: the Ostrich Forgets that a Foot may crush her Eggs
By: Prof.dr. Ibrahim Khalil | 23/11/2009The Bible says that the ostrich forgets that a foot may crush her eggs or that the wild beast may break and trample them. The ostrich is not mentioned therein in the Quran. On the other hand, the Quran says that the birds in general live in societies like human beings.
Why Should You Write Your Own Life Story?
By: Patrika Vaughn | 19/11/2009Writing your life story is embarking on a journey through the past. It’s a unique journey, one no one else has ever taken.
In the Quran: Why did Allah Say unto Moses, behold the mountain?
By: Prof.dr. Ibrahim Khalil | 18/11/2009The Noble Quran says that When Moses asked to see Allah, Allah Said, behold the mountain, which is stronger than you are, and if it remains, stays fixed, in its place, then you shall see Me’.
Bukit Merah
By: Jing | 17/11/2009A description of the town I live in. And humanity through my eyes.
Where to from Here?
By: Robert | 16/11/2009Something to Think About
Creativity and the Inner Child
By: Jane Rowan | 14/10/2009 | Self ImprovementGetting in touch with the inner child is a process. Much of what the child needs to tell us is buried in the unconscious. Art and other creative activities are great ways to access unconscious material. Whether it’s making a visual representation of a monster that came in a dream (thus giving it shape and validating the experience) or messing around with clay to see what emerges, art provides a medium that goes beyond words and allows more metaphorical, less logical, processing.
The Inner Critic and the Inner Child
By: Jane Rowan | 01/04/2008 | Non-FictionMost writers have to wrestle with their inner critics to get past negative thoughts and keep writing. The inner critic voices are given to us as children and remain with us for life. Being kind to our inner children can help combat the insidious influence of the inner critic.
Recovered Memories of Childhood Abuse
By: Jane Rowan | 01/04/2008 | Mental HealthChildren who are abused often bury the memories of their terror and abuse. It's puzzling how this happens, but it makes ultimate sense when you realize that the child has to remain dependent on the very people who may be abusing him or her. Suppressing the knowledge is a survival mechanism.
Spirituality and the Inner Child
By: Jane Rowan | 28/12/2007 | SpiritualityGetting in touch with your inner child and caring for that inner Child of Light is a way to greater spirituality.
Soothing your Inner Child
By: Jane Rowan | 28/12/2007 | Self HelpIt’s not always easy to get in touch with our inner children, the parts of us that were split off at a young age because of abuse, fear, neglect, or misunderstanding. These young parts were not allowed to express their overwhelming feelings. When we invite these lost inner children back into our lives, we have to be ready for them to express a lot of distress. But what do we do then? How do we soothe the inner child?