A Spiritual Perspective on Resolving the Grief of Sudden Infant Death

If home is where the heart is, so also dwells there a place for healing the grief and anguish of losing a child or any loved one.

All we need do is step inside our heart by means of a heart-centered meditation.

The heart isn't only a physical organ or merely an intellectual concept. The heart is the very center of our self-awareness--our consciousness as created souls. The heart is where mind, body,feelings, and spirit come together and where issues within self and between self and others can be examined and resolved in a loving manner.

It is also where parent and child may meet again, even if the child is no longer in a physical body.  The heart space is accessible to the energy of consciousness of both the living and the so-called dead.

The process is simple.

Step One: Find a quiet, comfortable, secure place where there will not be any disruptions or intrusions. Those accustomed to meditating may already have such a place. Lying on a bed is fine, as is leaning back on a comfortable recliner or lounge chair. Whatever helps put the seeker of resolution at ease will do. Make sure a box of tissues is within reach.

Step Two: Close your eyes to help calm the body and the mind. It may not be possible to empty it of all thought, so don’t try to do so. Don’t try to do anything or not do anything. Simply be still, physically and mentally.

Step Three: Focus on breathing. Breathe in and out. Each time in, hold it a little longer before exhaling. Each time out, hold it a little longer before inhaling. Repeat this until inhaling for as long as it is comfortable and exhaling for as long as it is comfortable. This is an easy and gentle means of lengthening and slowing your breathing rate. Please take it slowly.

Step Four: Imagine standing before the doors to your heart. At this point, if you are familiar with your guides (angels), invite them to come along with you. Then imagine those doors opening and move into your heart space.

Step Five: If your heart space seems dim or confined, ask for more light and clarity. Guides can help with this, although they are not necessary to receive assistance. When the space is lighter and freer,look for a pool or stream of water. There is always water within the heart, even if it is just a trickle. Water is how the soul or spirit energy that anchors within our heart space appears to us in spirit.

Step Six: Sit beside this water. If desired, take a drink of it or even bathe in it. It is your own spiritual energy and is healing and reassuring. Once comfortable beside the water, invite the dead child into your heart as well. Don’t be surprised to find that the child comes eagerly and may even have preceded your invitation into your heart. If the child seems hesitant, send out love and reassurance and ask the child's guides to encourage the visit.

Step Seven: Once your child is by the water, allow all emotions to flow freely. There will be tears, and they are healing, so do not repress them. Use the tissues close by and continue. Talk with your child. Tell the child about your feelings. Ask the child why s/he left the body. Listen to the answer, which may come as images, thoughts,feelings, or even as distinct words. Embrace each other again, and ask or God’s blessing on both and on all of those affected by the child's passing. Take your time in this stage. There is no hurry.

Step Eight: Once you have resolved your feelings and gotten answers to your questions, feel free to invite the child's other parent and siblings, if any, into this heart space. Embrace each other. Talk to each other and listen to what each soul says. Play together. Laugh and cry together. Help your spouse and other children resolve their issues over their loss. Go ahead and ask God again for another blessing for this group.

Step Nine: Say farewell to all souls who have visited your heart, and grant them free passage in and out of this space. Know that it is possible to return to this space at any time and be with the departed child in spirit and feeling.

Step Ten: Open your eyes and sit up. By all means, discuss your experiences and new understandings with those you trust.

A heart-centered meditation permits us to communicate with others at the emotional and spiritual levels, which provides insights not available to the conscious mind. Such insights are one of the keys to attaining resolution for spiritual and emotional wounds. Souls need to understand why as part of the healing process.

Although powerful, heart-centered meditation is not the only spiritual method to help resolve the grief of loss. Future columns will review yet another such approach.