Appreciation Tops the List of Ways to Save a Marriage

Does your marriage lack the spark it used to have? Most married couples tend to lose passion and appreciation for one another as the years go by. Many married couples are finding themselves wondering what happened over the years. Worse still, some couples reach the point where the marriage has gotten so bad that they are struggling to find ways to save a marriage.

Why do marriages break down? Well the fact is most people change after they are married. The days of passion and having fun seem to fade away. Maybe this hasn’t happened to you yet, maybe you work hard to keep the spark alive in your marriage, but unfortunately some people are too late. People tend to try and fix things once it’s broken, you may have heard from your friends or about people changing to save a marriage. Often they have the right intention and not the right tact, inevitably things just get worse.

Many couples get excited at the thought of marriage, standing at the wedding altar and exchanging vows is the beginning of a new and happy life together. Well, at least it is for the early years anyway. However the act of marriage and exchanging wedding vows does something to a majority of couples.

Vowing to join ‘in sickness and in health, till death do us apart’ seems to translate to ‘No matter how dire the marriage has become, you’re not leaving!’ Complacency affects most marriages, even for a short while, perhaps it’s because we take it for granted that the other half will stick around no matter what happens. The relationship changes, priorities change and we may fail to appreciate each other at times. Now that you’re married you have other more important things to worry about, children, finances, the roof over your head, paying bills and putting food on the table.

Life becomes a routine and the lust begins to fade away for each other. Sure you still love each other, but it’s not the exciting love and appreciation that you shared for each other during your first encounters or your honeymoon. Many marriages that eventually break down have been slowly going downhill for quite sometime, before any spouse even attempts to find ways to save a marriage.

The problem is that marriage for some seems to give them the right to do what they want. They think that now that the chase is over and they’ve found a mate for life, they can finally relax and do what they want.

Statistically a higher percentage of married men and women are overweight than non married couples. It’s true, even I’m guilty of putting on a few pounds! We’re no longer chasing or trying to impress the opposite sex. It’s common for married couples to look a little scruffy and unkempt after all there’s no need to go through all the hassle of trying to look fit and good anymore, there’s no one to impress.

You might think that it’s harmless for you to gain a few pounds or to let you hair grow out but it’s not. Just because the chase is over, it shouldn’t mean that you can just let yourself go completely. After all wouldn’t you much prefer if your spouse continued looking the way they did before marriage? However this is still only a minor problem compared to the real issue. The real issue is that often spouses not only let themselves go, they let go of the relationship. By that I mean they stop doing the things they used to do, such as being romantic and affectionate and even saying those all important words ‘I love you.’

Often a spouse will fail to see the signs that the marriage is going under and when they should be looking for ways to save a marriage, they continue to neglect and ignore their partner. This can often leave a spouse dissatisfied and either their eyes begin to wonder or they want to break up. It’s not uncommon for spouses to consider having an affair when the romance, fun and love have gone from their marriage.

Married couples need to realize that marriage isn’t the end of the race it’s the beginning of a new life. The ‘finish line’ is hinted in the wedding vows ‘till death do us apart’.’ Marriage is not a time to become complacent; it’s a chance to build a solid foundation for the relationship.

It’s not uncommon to find people changing to save a marriage. It’s never too late to do something to repair a marriage in trouble. Those that try and seek the right guidance can succeed.

It’s as important to find ways to save a marriage as it is important to find ways to build back up a relationship. Once a marriage is saved it’s important to know how to bring back the romance and passion, and to start appreciating each other again.