Are We Really One World? German Au Pairs and Cultural Differences

With the rising costs of childcare, American families are hosting au pairs in staggering numbers.  There has been an increase in the number of au pairs with nearly 22,000 young women residing in the USA last year, up 44% from 2004!  This is a dramatic increase and the trend appears to be growing despite the weak economy.

The French term, au pair, denotes a young woman who "lives as an equal" with her host family. Au pair agencies recruit young women from over 55 countries, with China as the newest "hot" placement for sophisticated American families seeking to expose their children to Mandarin.

Despite global connections between countries and the politcally correct phrase "we are all one world" cultural differences exist across Europe, Asia and South America - top areas au pair agencies recruit from. These cultural differences add flavor and spice to the host family's year with their au pair and both benefit from cross-cultural experiences.

Knowledge of cultural differences is critical to a host family's success with their au pair -American behavior may be viewed as rude or insulting to an au pair, and Americans can often misinterpret an au pair's interactions with their children, etc. 

One of the more popular countries that Americans prefer when hosting an au pair is Germany.  Let's take a look at why this is true:

The idea of traveling to the United States to become an au pair is a very familiar concept in Germany.  These young women are motivated by several factors including a desire to become more independent, to improve their English skills, and to experience American culture.  German youth are fascinated with American music, TV programs, Hollywood stars and movies.  In addition, young German women know that a year abroad that improves her English is a significant plus on her resume, greatly increasing her job potential once she returns home.  Therefore, the au pair program continues to be a highly popular gap year for young women who usually return to Germany to continue at University.  Approximately 37% of all au pairs who arrive in the United States are from Western Europe and 23% of that number are from Germany (although in recent years, that trend seems to be declining).

German Culture

• Young people in Germany have much more freedom from their families to socialize and date compared to their American peers.  Socializing with friends is very important and German youth go out to pubs from the early age of 16.  If your German au pair likes to go out and socialize, do not misinterpret this as "party girl" - she will most likely be sitting in a Starbucks talking with other German au pairs or visiting our nation's famous sights to expand her knowledge of America.
• Curfews are not common and there is generally a relaxed and accepting attitude between parents and their adolescent children. 
• German youth are generally open-minded, well mannered and tend to be ambitious regarding their careers.
• Germans take family life very seriously and most German families eat together for all meals, including lunch.  Government rules allow all shops and businesses to close each day for from 12 noon to 2 o’clock so the family can come together for lunch.  No one is late for meals.
• Germans are very private people and greatly value their time alone. It would not be unusual for your German au pair to keep her door shut while she is on her time “off” and during these times you should make sure the children are not barging in and bothering her. She may interpret this behavior as  very rude and intrusive.

Childcare

• Discipline techniques include talking to the child, taking sweets away, taking away television or video privileges, or sending the child to their room.
• Corporal punishment is forbidden in Germany
• German au pairs tend to be highly organized and responsible and catch on quickly to the family’s routine.
• Applicants obtain their childcare experience through formal training (in kindergartens, etc.) and babysitting for friends and family.
• German parents (either mother or father) typically stay home with their young children at least until they are old enough to attend kindergarten. Working at home is very common for German parents.
• Your German au pair will expect the children to treat her with respect, to comply with her instructions and to follow the house rules.  Unruly or bad behavior is a sign of disrespect and a child who is overly indulged by parents (with toys, sweets, privileges not earned) is considered spoiled as result of poor or failed parenting.

Driving Skills

• Most West German au pairs are excellent drivers.  They receive their license at age 18 and the test is much more demanding and time consuming compared to their American peers.  Most driving pupils need 20-30 lessons in order to pass the test and there is an hour practical driving test!  If any German fails the test more than 3 times, a psychological test is then required by the state.
• Most parents have a car for the teen to practice on and they support their teenagers in getting the license and becoming good, safe drivers.
• German au pairs are exclusively sought out by host parents for their excellent driving skills making them one of the most popular au pairs.

English Skills - West German Au Pairs get an A+

• English is a compulsory subject at the age of 10, but many children start as early as kindergarten.  As a result, German youth have competent English skills with many having no or a very slight German accent.
• German au pairs are popular with host parents for their English skills. Host parents typically expect them to help the children with homework and German au pairs are generally very competent in this area.
• West Germans' proficiency in English is generally better compared to Germans from East Germany - East Germans get a C- in English!

  Health

• Germans are typically very healthy.  They have good medical and dental insurance.
• Most young women are not inoculated or tested for TB (tuberculosis).
• Eating disorders are not very common in Germany.
• Most young people in Germany eat meat and lots of vegetables and fresh foods are preferred to fast foods/processed foods.  A  growing number of German youth are becoming vegetarians and you should ask your au pair if she eats meat.

Religion

• The two most common religions in Germany are Catholic and Protestant
• Most young people in Germany do not practice their religion on a regular basis

 Other Useful Information

• Most German families have at least one computer with access to the internet and most young Germans have their own cell phones; contacting prospective au pairs is relatively easy during the interviewing process
• Family members usually speak English and can take messages from you if the au pair is not home which is a great plus for you as a host parent.
• German students end their academic year in June and most of the young women apply to arrive in the USA during the summer months but before our school term starts here in the USA so plan to have your German au pair arrive in early or mid August so she can sign up for fall courses at your local college.  
• German au pairs are typically serious students and will expect to sign up for courses immediately upon arrival. German au pairs will expect flexibly from her host parents so she can attend her classes without interruption.
• West Germans are generally more educated, are more experienced drivers and possess better English skills compared to East Germans.
• Generally, German au pairs have less trouble assimilating into American culture and do not generally suffer from culture shock.  They genuinely like American culture and look forward to their year abroad.
• Most Germans will not extend beyond the 12 months – they will return home to continue their education, start a business or look for a professional job.

With the growing trend of using au pairs as their #1 childcare option, American families are competing with one and another for au pairs who are responsible, mature, good drivers and who speak good, competent English. German au pairs generally meet all of these criteria while adding old world charm mixed with a youthful and modern perspective.  Germans are proud of their culture and are usually delighted with our America experience - a wonderful combination for any host family!