Behavior Modification Strategies - the Trap of Short Term Thinking

It's tempting when parenting a child with behavioral problems to react rather than respond. In the heat of the moment, our child pushes all our hot buttons and instead of exhibiting self-control and grace, we verbally lash out and make things worse.

Honestly, this is an example of short term thinking - or short term parenting. Here's why.

In those emotional situations, all we want as mom or dad is to make the pain of the moment go away, We want our child to listen to us, to obey us and to be happy in doing so. All of that is understandable, and is also short-term thinking.

And the reality of this parenting moment is confronting us with a very different picture.

One way to avoid repeating this painful scenario is by establishing long term thinking within your parenting road map. (You do have a parenting road map, right?)

== Long-term Parenting Strategies

* Start with a plan.

What kind of family do you want? What kind of homelife do you crave? I'm not talking things or stuff here. I'm talking about qualities in your family life such as a calm environment, a respectful demeanor, lively play, or connected relationships. Once you start with a family road map you can work backwards to discover the details you need to focus on each day (like specific behavior modification strategies) to make your homelife take shape.

* Use Specific Strategies.

If your child is talking back to you and your long term parenting plan has revealed that you want your child to be a respectful person, then instead of reacting in the moment, you will be encouraged to come up with a plan to help your child learn to be respectful. Eliminating disrespectful influences, such as specific TV programs and unacceptable music choices, is one specific behavior modification strategy.

Giving a prize out at the end of a week or month when a specified number of random acts of kindness were completed by your child is another excellent behavior strategy.

There's a tangible benefit in having these strategies already thought out and in place. In the heat of the moment, you can be calm when you remind your child that back talking leads to a loss of (fill in the blank). And it will be easier to stand your ground and be firm, since you know your efforts are working towards your parenting goals. Remember, if your child is already exhibiting behavior problems, you are going to have to re-train and that will take consistent time and effort.

The bottom line here is that we humans are not born knowing how to behave. That's one reason we need parents! Behavior modification strategies are simply a tool we can use as we guide our kids through their growing up years.

As moms and dads we have a powerful influence that we need to use wisely and consistently. Our kids have a responsibility to listen and learn from us. Together we can help our kids arrive at adulthood ready to fulfill their potential.