Choosing Adoption

Choosing adoption is a big step. I would like to discuss a variety of topics that will help with making the decision to adopt an informed, thought provoking one. The goal of this article is to provide information and resources that will help in choosing adoption. The result, I hope, is to help any child be placed in a home where they are wanted, appreciated and loved and to provide any caring adult, tools they can utilize to make choosing adoption a reality.

Let’s begin by asking yourself, “Am I ready?”. This is a logical place to start because by choosing adoption you are choosing to change the dynamics of your life forever. This of course is said not to scare you away from the idea of adoption but to merely point out the realization of this fact. Once you have done your homework and a lot of soul searching and are still choosing to adopt, you may have come across the most rewarding experience of your lifetime.

With choosing adoption comes many decisions immediately following: What adoption agency will I use? Do I want to adopt a boy or a girl? When I adopt, will the child be an infant? 5 yrs. old? or a teenager? These are all important questions that need to be addressed.

Adoption Agencies

One must be very careful when choosing adoption agencies for obvious reasons. The search for one on the internet, you may find is a challenge. I have done some homework and have found a couple of links that may be helpful:

http://www.adoption.com – In the topics menu under adopting click “guide”
http://www.comeunity.com/ - Great for resources

Do I want a boy or do I want a girl?

My wife and I have raised 3 boys and 2 girls and I must say that it is a different experience one from the other, but rewarding all the same. This is a choice that must be thought out and discussed when choosing to adopt. Much has been written regarding adopting a boy vs. a girl and I would encourage you to visit the websites listed above as a source of information. Ultimately, this is a matter of preference. The dedication and commitment to love another human being far out weighs this choice you must make.

Through communication with your spouse, a decision should be reached. Just remember, not everyone gets to choose, so this should be a pleasant choice to make.

Choosing the age of the child

Now this is a tough one. On average more infant girls are adopted than any other age/gender combination. But looking into the various challenge of each age group, may prove to be helpful. This is where you choose how the dynamics of your life will change. Really give this decision consideration when choosing to adopt.

Responsibilities and what to expect by age group:

Infant: very dependent, may keep you up at night, feeding, changing diapers, bathing, washing, wiping, burping, parent/child play time, reading time

1-3 yrs: Crawling, walking, teeth brushing, beginning to talk, bathing, exploring, breaking household items, parent/child play time, reading time, lots of energy

3-5 yrs: Learning ABC's, asks why a lot, exploring, human sponges, parent/child play time, bathing, child making friends, child brushing their own teeth with assistance from parents, reading time (both child and parent read)

6-8 yrs: Learning, attention span improving, lots of energy, children should be brushing their own teeth, parent child play time, wanting to do more on their own, reading time, teach them how to do chores that are age appropriate, may want to begin organized sports or activities

9-11 yrs: Study habits, learning how to do for themselves, increased chore responsibility, becoming more independent, communicating regularly

12-14 yrs: Preteen and becoming a teenager, hormones, relationships, friendships, study habits, communicating regularly, extra curricular activities, spreading their wings.

15-18 yrs: On the road to becoming an adult, education, future planning, relationships, having the “birds and bees” talk, communicating regularly

Of course this list merely scratches the surface but all in all I think you get the idea. Choosing adoption to begin or extend your family can be very rewarding. It is a big decision and through research and communication, you may find that choosing adoption is the right fit for you and your family.

Remember the best way, when choosing anything, is to be informed.