Kids Party Etiquette - Bring a Plate, to Ask or not to Ask, That is the Question

I often come across interesting attitudes towards party etiquette where kids parties, well, all parties are concerned, and one such concern is the dilemma of bringing plates, asking guests to bring them, offering to a host to provide them or just plain assigning responsibility without consulting first.

Whilst some parents may baulk at the idea of being asked to bring a plate I think it is important that you as the host have the confidence to ask for support. Throwing a party for a group of kids these days is a demanding affair to many. There is much expectation out there to throw a party for every child every year, and as the kids get older they begin to learn to concept of outdoing each other, that’s a whole ‘nother article there.

Back to the topic, to ask or not to ask?

Before asking or assigning you have to consider the type of party you are having, consider this:

• How much effort and expense are you putting in? No one likes a moocher, so don’t be lazy.
  






• Are you forking out for venue or entertainment and therefore really feeling the pressure?
  






• How big is the party and can you reasonably prepare that much food alone?
  






• Is it a party where the parents are also personal friends?
  






• Do any of your guests have special dietary needs? Parents should be more than willing to provide special food if their own children need it, though wont always offer.
  






• Are you having financial difficulty? Whilst your child shouldn’t expect a party and you shouldn’t feel pressured to organise one if you really can’t afford it, think small and personal and ask for help.
  

More often than not you will be friends to some degree with the parents of the children on the guest list, in this case you should be able to ask for their support, after all, as fellow parents they should understand the pressure of organising a party and in most cases will be most willing to support.

It helps to have thought through the food items before asking for people to bring plates though as you may end up with several plates of the same thing. I was once invited to a BBQ and asked to bring something, anything, it was up to me. I went all out and did a rather large and expensive fruit platter only to arrive and find 7 others had done the same thing, thus most of it ended in the bin. To be honest I was annoyed and wished the host had been more assertive and assigned a specific item to me.

So be assertive, if you genuinely need help, ask for it. Be specific about your needs, it may be an ingredient for a larger item, or a plate of sandwiches, a packet of crisps, a bottle of drink.

You may be having a big pool party and so a huge fruit salad is definitely on the menu. Purchase any expensive items if you want them yourself, like mango for example, its bad form to assign expensive items to others, so be considerate, but its fine to ask Mary to bring a small watermelon, Jo to bring 4 bananas, Alison to bring 4 apples, Fred to supply a can of peaches and so on, or if you are having a sausage sizzle, you buy the meat, but ask a few people to bring some bread.

Show your appreciation for those parents who have helped, whether they have stayed to help you out on the day or just been kind enough to drop off a plate with their child. Send them a thankyou note a few days later or just a quick phone call to let them know how much it helped.

For those who do baulk at the idea of being asked to bring a plate, bad form! Sure you may take the angle that you have had to buy a present and a card, and wrapping…and your child is being babysat for a few hours…lighten up.