How well do we really know the families of our children’s friends? Not very well, I’m afraid. And these are the people at whose homes our kids sometimes spend more time than at their own, especially as they grow older. They start having sleepovers a couple of times a week, and most of the time we hardly know what kind of people these parents are, what their homes are like, what our kids are having for dinner, where they sleep, and so on. At best, we’ve met them once or twice, or maybe just spoke to them on the phone. We know we are good parents, and when our children’s friends sleep over at our home, we take as good a care of them as we do our own. We assume other parents are the same way, and unfortunately, at times it just isn’t so.
My daughter had a friend once; they met at summer camp. The girls were inseparable and often slept over at either our or their house. I met the parents and can’t say felt an especially good vibe from them, but they were ok with the girls staying over, and had a nice home. I did all the dropping off and picking up, and seldom saw them at those times. My daughter told me some strange stories about the arguments that went on while she was there, and I was beginning to doubt my decision to allow her to stay there.
Protecting the children is one of the most justified reasons to investigate the people to whose care we entrust their safety. Since I asked for the parents’ cell phone numbers, I had a way to find out more about their backgrounds using Reverse Cell Phone Lookup. I didn’t like what I dug up, not one bit. The stepfather had a couple of DUIs, and although, as far as I knew, he didn’t drive my daughter or otherwise had much to do with her, I made up my mind to put an end to the sleepovers. I really preferred to have the kids under my watchful eye at all times anyway, so their friends were always welcome at my home.
As it often happens, once the decision is made, circumstances immediately confirm our premonitions. When I got to these people’s house one night to pick up my daughter, there was police on their doorstep. As it turns out, there was an explosive argument between the stepfather and stepdaughter, and both parents were obviously intoxicated. I grabbed my daughter and, needless to say, she never went back to that home. She felt uncomfortable enough not to argue with me.
I have never again allowed any of my children out of my sight without investigating the people they were going to stay with first. Reverse Cell Phone Lookup works every time, telling me enough about the families to either raise red flags or confirm good impressions. Taking that extra step is absolutely worth the peace of mind it provides. It’s the least we can do.
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