Barbara Beccari is co-author of a children’s picture book about respectful relationships. Barbara is co-founder of parentSCOPE, a parent-coaching business acknowledged for its innovation. parentSCOPE supports parents to have loving and close relationships with their children, from toddlers to teens. Check us out on http://www.parentscope.com.au to find out more.
“Why do parents today need parent-coaching?” is a question I have been asked many times.
Why can’t parents just parent the way we always have – taking some of their ideas from their own parents and coming up with others of their own? This is a model that has worked well for centuries now – despite parents wishing that their child did come with that magic manual!
The difference is now however, we live in a time of such vast technological change that it is a very different world in which to be a parent. What once could be gleaned from generations past, no longer holds true. Our parents didn’t have to contend with the omnipresent forms of technology that we as parents do – today more than 40% of Australian 6-13 year olds own a mobile phone, while only 12% of 14–17 year olds don’t regularly use one. Many of our children now have virtually 24/7 contact with their peers!
Our children on top of an average of 11 hours TV viewing a week also often spend hours in front of the computer with almost half of them being exposed at some time to offensive material on the internet.
We as parents don’t have guidelines from our own childhoods to deal with these constant changes and challenges, nor the ever increasing pace of change which is a part of our modern day world. It’s tough (as well as rewarding) being a parent today!
This is why parent-coaching can be a very valuable support for parents. Good coaches know that parents don’t need ‘fixing’, just the chance to see their situation differently. Coaching provides parents with an opportunity:
1. to gain skills and knowledge to face change with confidence
2. to discuss strategies to deal with the challenges that modern day parents face
3. to become observers of their own behaviour as we can only change what we notice
4. to make choices about changing their way of being
5. to put steps into place to approach their relationship with their children differently
6. to be accountable to themselves for the changes they wish to make
7. to maintain close family relationships, which in our constantly changing world are more important than ever.
We will become a far more positive society when reaching out for support to help us deal with modern day parenting challenges is seen as a healthy thing to do instead of a sign of weakness. After all it is our next generation we are talking about here and they deserve the very best start in life that we as parents can give them.
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