Parents Monitor Your Children

There is a wide generation gap on Internet usage between parents and children and the gap continues to grow as more children are introduced to computers and the Internet. Recent figures show that 90% of school-age children have access to computers either at home or at school (National Center for Education Statistics September 2006). While this is great for learning and becoming technologically advanced it has become a source of danger to our children. The danger stems from the fact that the majority of our children are allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. It is reported that one in five child, in the over eight age group, has a computer in their bedroom and this is where the problem emanates. As a rule of thumb, computers should be in areas that are accessible to the family; no computers in bedrooms of young children (under 13 years). While this injunction may not work in some cases, such as when children are alone at home after school, there are safeguards that parents can enact to keep their children safe. The main resource is the use of programs such as SpectorSoft Computer Monitoring Software. According to a leading computer magazine, Spector Pro, a product of SpectorSoft, is the most powerful and complete monitoring software on the market. An additional attribute is that Spector Pro Software is available for both Windows and Mackintosh Operating Systems.

Ideally, all parents should know how to monitor their children's Internet usage, but they often have no idea how to do so. Parents are also dangerously unaware of what their children are actually doing online. A survey in the UK suggested that more than half the 9-17 year olds who go online have been exposed to pornographic material - but only one in six parents was aware that their child had ever seen or was aware that this material is so easily accessible on the Internet( UK ChildrenGoOnline July 2004).

At a certain stage in their lives children value their independence but, at the same time, need to establish confidence that parents are there for them, no matter what. It is also important for them to know that their parents have faith and trust in them. These things, that are an integral part of the growing process, present challenges for parents and they are at a lost, sometimes, to juggle all of them at the same time. When in doubt remember that the child’s safety is of paramount importance when the matter of independence versus their safety comes into play. The following should help in the quest to keep children safe on the Internet:

• Establish a rapport with your children, talk to them and make them aware that you are listening
• Provide well rounded activities for your children
• Do not allow excessive time on the computer for leisure purposes, chats, music, games, etc. Agree with your child on the amount of leisure time spent on the computer and be firm about it. In other words establish a contract with your children. “Site Seeing on the Internet” provided by the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) provides sample language that can be used.
• Make it a habit, for your child’s sake to check the caller id on your phone to see who is calling your home.
• Age and maturity may play a role on the level of independence a child may enjoy but, as a general rule, children under 13 years should not be allowed to join chat rooms.
• Older children who are allowed to go to the Mall and other places unsupervised are not as susceptible to the dangers of the Internet, but supervising/monitoring their activities, if only loosely, is still important.
• Parents must inform local law enforcement if pornographic material is sent to children under 18 years. The perpetrator is breaking the law if they know that the child is a minor. Monitoring software has the capacity to store information that will help law enforcement to track perpetrators. That is the reason why monitoring software such as SpectorSoft Pro is so very important.

§ Tell your children never to give out identifying information such as family information, home address, school name, or phone number in chat room discussions and when visiting web sites. They shouldn't even reveal such data in private e-mail unless they know whom they are dealing with. They must also not send out personal or family photos without your permission. It’s best for children to use “screen names” that are different from their own in chat rooms.

§ Warn your children not to respond to messages that are threatening, suggestive, demeaning, or otherwise make you or the child uncomfortable. Tell them to report such messages to you.

§ There’s a saying – it takes a village to raise a child. This saying recognizes the fact that other people such as aunts, uncles and friends can and do contribute in keeping children safe. Grandparents are quite often one of the most important components in raising children. As a matter of fact, quite a number of grandparents have actually taken over the role as primary caregiver. In such cares we can replace the word grandparent with parent.

Beware of the pedophile within your circle of family and friends. Listen to your children and instill in them that they are most important. If your child is uncomfortable with an adult in your circle, beware and speak to the child about his/her discomfort. Unfortunately pedophiles are not only a danger on the Internet but could be in your midst. Encourage your children to be frank about their feelings and particularly young children should be taught to tell if someone touches them inappropriately. Tell your children “No secrets”, especially when they are told “Not to tell”.